MacNairCDC

Ahhhhh, lynnann has arrived ... my floaty-in-arms-friend!

Did you bring your mysterious smile?

And are we going to par-tay in here or on the other board ... or BOTH!???

(Archivist Note: The old board has now gone defunct!)

lynnannCDC

Puff and I vote.....TWICE [lynnann's dragon waving here] ....or in other words, both! Just remember where you are, if you're gonna be naughty :o) and fru the "illegals" (just because I'm one of the newest members of the AP fanclub...I ain't got a blabbermouth!)

So here I am, mysterious smile, and magic fingers, and a plate of cookies to pass around. Homemade chocolate chip anyone? Ah fergit it. Richie beat y'all to 'em.

Richie!

MacNairCDC

He ate them ALL??!!!! A-G-A-I-N? Didn't we warn him about that the last time?

Where is that MacLeod? No, not YOU Duncan--you and Rich have had enough troubles in your lives.

Connor? Catch that imp of a kid, willya? He ate the whole plate of cookies and they just arrived!

lynnann? What should be the punishment this time once Connor catches him?

lynnannCDC

Punishment? Times like this, I wish I were creative.... How about we make him blow up all the floaty toys anytime they lose air (I think there's gonna be a lot of hydroplaning tonight *eg*)

And then there is the sandbags we'll need for the extra drool....

Or, hey, we could just all pounce him at once. That would probably fry his brain (he ain't no Connor)

Egads, I just had this vision of the Bible story of Esther... with me in the role of Haman..... AAAAAHHHH

hmmm pounced on by the boys....yep, fried brain

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Hmmm. Say? I don't even see Richie in here anymore....

Dang it! Quick! He's hopped to the other board!

Methos? Didn't you keep one of those nets around here just for carting all seven inflated floaties to the pool?

Can we borrow it ... and you?

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Snerk. Actually ... no .... [this is in response to lynnann's suggestion that she should leap in and SHAVE Connor in HD when he's looking out the window at the cop.]

I'd like to see what he's hiding under that Armani suit!

ZZZZzzzzzzooooooooooooomMMMMMMM!

(MacNair and lynnann are interrupted by a swiftly moving body whizzing by. Their hair blows wildly and they blink several times at each other as if to figure out what has happened.)

lynnann: "What was THAT!"

MacNair: "I'm not sure ... but it looked young."

lynnann: "Richie! He ate the plate of cookies..."

MacNair: "Which means that not far behind-----"

ZZZZZZZZZZZZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

Both ladies stagger in the gust of wind and cling to each other to keep from falling fully clothed into the drool pool.

lynnann: "Holy roadrunners--there goes Connor after him!"

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"Here you go, ladies, your floatys," Methos said, dropping them into the POD. "All inflated to perfection. There should be plenty to go around for now, the turtle, the seahorse, that stupid dragon..."

lynnann "He's magic, old guy,"

Methos: "Okay, that stupid magic dragon," (MacNair chortled) "the lady bug and the teddy bear."

lynnann: "Wasn't there an elephant and an Orca?"

MacNair: "I don't think anyone has claimed them yet."

lynnann: "Someone will, the first time they slip into the deep end and all the boys are already busy...

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOSH

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH

Two bodies sped by again. "My money is on the Highlander," Methos said.

"No bet," the two clansibs chorused as one.

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The presence of a warm body close behind them made the two women turn.

lynnann: "O, hi, Duncan." She eyed the free flowing hair for a moment--transfixed.

MacNair spared him only a glance. She knew better to linger on that profile if she ever hoped to see the conclusion of the current race happening all over the confines of the compound. "Did you come to see the foot race?"

lynnann: "We already know how it will end."

Methos, dryly: "They wouldn't even bet with me, Mac! How am I suppose to scrape the cash together for a game of PacMan later?"

Duncan, with a killer smile: "Don't be so sure of the outcome, ladies. I just saw Rich in the pantry before lynnann arrived."

MacNair and lynnann both study him, trying not to let their gaze wander to the blue speedo below. Methos snorts faintly beneath his breath--they ignore him. Duncan is oblivious to all of it.

"What was Rich doing in the pantry?" asked lynnann, thinking of a game of Clue.

Duncan, grinning: "He was slathering Crisco on himself. Connor is going to get a hell of a surprise when he grabs him. He'll bark half his face off when he hits the concrete!"

MacNair eyes lynnann. "We'll just have to make it all better, won't we?"

lynnann, with a mysterious smile: "Definately."

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"Meanwhile, kyrdwyn lies in wait near the edge of the pool, securely hidden away behind a bush, one end of a trip rope wrapped snugly around her wrist. She tensed as she heard voices coming her way...one young and calling out insults, the other deeper and huskier, swearing wrath and mayhem if he should ever get his hands on the younger Immortal....

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She waited until the pounding of footprints was very near before yanking it tightly across the narrow path between ice machine and POD ---- CRASH, SSSSSsssssskkkkkkkkkkkiiiiiiiiid, floooooomp is heard.

Rich Ryan, greased to escape the avenging angel on his heels, spun in a glorious imitation of break dancing .... right down the length of the pool and bumped over the sandbagged edge without even losing speed! He sinks directly to the bottom.

Connor, hitting the rope right behind the younger man (depending on how you look at it) crashed to the ground, arms and legs flailing and curses filling the air.

"Ooooooooo! That's GOTTA hurt!" sallied out Methos, comfortably enough out of reach distance that he feels safe in speaking his mind.

lynnann studied the bubbles coming up from the bottom of the pool. "And what do you bet Connor won't even go down there and save him."

MacNair: "RUN, Kyrdwyn!"

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kyrdwyn dropped the rope, staring at the downed Highlander in stunned surprise. She had meant to trip young Richie and see just how slippery Crisco was between two bodies, but her plans had gone awry.

Quietly, she backed away from the bushes, turning to run gracefully down the cement surrounding the pool and make a long dive for her ladybug floaty where it hovered between MacNair and lynnann. Almost swamping her clansibs with the force of her body hitting the water so close to them, she grasped the floaty and held on tightly, gasping for air and trying to hide behind the giant ladybug so that Connor wouldn't see her.

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The elder Highlander, bleeding from both knees and one elbow, lunged to his feet and looked wildly about for the perpetrator of such an ignoble end to the chase. The helpless laughter from his young clansman did little to assuage his ire.

He spun and glared at the pool, where a suspicious group of floaties bob most erratically ... as if they have been abruptly disturbed by the sudden dive of someone into their midst.

MacNair and lynnann, both sporting the most mysterious smiles he has EVER seen, look innocently back. But the ladybug floaty sits oddly in the water ... as if hiding something.

Someone!

He took a long sure step-------and his foot landed in the thin coat of Crisco left by one Rich Ryan as he spun out of control. The Highlander gave a startled whoop as his foot slipped and he fell headlong into the POD.

"PADDLE!" shrieked MacNair and lynnann in unison, and they towed their clansib after them in a frantic rush to get away.

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kyrdwyn did her best to help, kicking with her feet to help propel them along, but as they neared the edge of the pool, misfortune smiled upon the trio; as Methos is helping them out of the water, kyrdwyn accidentally knocks both MacNair and lynnann off of their floaties and into the POD.

She watched in horror as they both sank below the surface, almost falling in herself, saved only by Methos' deft tug, which landed her in the ancient Immortal's lap. Her last sight of her clansibs as they went under the water was of a sleek shape darting toward them...

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Connor swore even as he swam. The bubbles drifted up carrying the sound with a multitude of "pips" and "pops" as they ruptured at the top.

"Two at once?!" he muttered. "This ought to be interesting!"

But lynnann and MacNair, wise as clansibs always are, had already clasped hands underwater and were signaling back and forth. They had it all organized by the time Connor arrived at the bottom, his hair wreathing his face like some underwater God.

Lynnann went first to get a breath from him, followed by MacNair 30 seconds later. Breath by breath, alternating, the two maintained their airflow...

.... And a merry time was being had beneath the rippling water...

Duncan, worried: "What's going on down there?"

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With kyrdwyn and Methos firmly ensconced in the lounge chair, Duncan continued to pace by the side of the POD, then he remembered his young friend, and he reached into the water, and flipped him over on his back. Rich gasped, and sank momentarily "What the H*** happened?"

"Long story. But MacNair and lynnann haven't surfaced for ten minutes. I'm a little concerned."

"Connor will take care of them."

"That's what I'm worried about." Duncan frowned, his most duncanesque frown.

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Duncan continued to stare through the water in concern, trying to see what the three vague shapes below were doing. Rich managed to pull himself out of the pool after three slippery attempts, then his eyes lit up when they spotted lahoffy down near the deep end, just settling onto her elephant floaty, a bag of Cheetos in one hand and a drink in the other.

"Well, Duncan, if you're that worried, why don't you go find out. Don't count on me though, I think the lady needs some help staying on her floaty." Rich gestured toward lahoffy, slowly moving closer and closer to the unsuspecting clansib as she munched on Cheetos, unaware of her danger.

After several more seconds contemplating the trio under the water, and getting mightily tired of hearing the giggling from the lounge chair, Duncan gave up and dove in. After all, lynnann might need his help.

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Connor smothered an oath against lynnann's soft mouth. It was distracting enough with all the modified French kissing going on while trying to breathe for these two woman floating, nay -- clasping-- themselves near him! He was about out of his Speedos and didn't think he could bear another minute of this!

Now Duncan had appeared on the scene, swimming with strong strokes towards them?

Just what is that idiot kinsman of mine trying to pull?!

He was danged if he was going to neck with Duncan MacLeod when he was fired up so badly with these two women! He was just going to have to let someone drown ... and he knew who qualified!

But Duncan took one look at Connor's wild eyes and grinned beneath the water. He shook his head and seized the nearest girl, lynnann, and surfaced with a great bound off the bottom.

Connor heard her merry bubbling all the way to the top of the POD. It was MacNair, poking him in the ribs that reminded him that her 30-second count was up and she needed more air.

One guy. One girl. Good odds.

MacNair had to snap his Speedo to get him back on task.

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Meanwhile, while happily munching Cheetos...lahoffy floated contentedly along, not seeing the dark shape gliding like a shark underneath her, until suddenly, a hand shot up out of the water, grabbing her ankle. With a surprised yelp, Cheetos went flying into the pool, once again turning the water orange and making Cheeto soup.

"Richie!" she yelled, making a grab for him, only to have her hand go sliding across his Crisco greased chest, "How interesting", she purred, thinking that this was something to be explored further...

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They surfaced in a small explosion of water, gasping for breath. lynnann took a moment to get her bearings, and she grinned at Duncan. But his grin told her something was amiss. She gasped "D*** that Highlander" and sank just below the surface, struggling to re-clasp the top of her swimsuit.

Duncan pulled her back up, "Allow me." It was quite a switch for the younger Highlander, redressing someone. "I don't think anyone else noticed, kyrdwyn is busy with Methos, and lahoffy is enjoying Rich's attentions."

"Someone noticed," lynnann said, glancing at the fire breathing floaty bearing down on them.

"You would think the beastie would know from whence he came."

"He knows, he just doesn't care..." lynnann put a calming hand on both dragons, "kyrdwyn, I thought you were after the RYG?"

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kyrdwyn pulled herself away from Methos long enough to answer: "I was, but he got away and I kind of fell onto the ROG...and then didn't feel like going anywhere! I'm sure lahoffy can entertain Rich...then maybe later we can trade."

From the other end of the pool came the sound of lahoffy laughing as Rich did his *best* to help her stay on her floaty. lynnann didn't have any more time to wonder at kyrdwyn's choice of Methos over Richie as Duncan had decided that he preferred her *without* the bathing suit top and was trying, most successfully, to distract her.

MacNair and Connor were still engaged in breathing lessons on the bottom of the pool.

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"This does not bode well..." said Methos. He pointed at the very full drool pool where a pair of bright red Speedos floated. "We've a naked man in our midst."

"Mmmmmph, like you have any room to talk," sweetly said Krydwyn. "How DO you keep from hacking yourself with that sword in swim trunks, anyway?"

"I'm old, my darling, I've had a lot of practice."

Lahoffy had given up on staying in her elephant floaty. Richie had gotten too much Crisco on it just trying to help her. It was the best to be hoped for to just hold onto the elephant's trunk .... Rich had a silly grin on his face.

"There's something to be said for the inventiveness of Crisco," lynnann dreamily said as Duncan rubbed her back. His large hands were gentle and soothing and spanned clear across her ribcage. His breath was warm on her neck.

"We can play with Crisco if you want to ... I prefer whipping cream myself," he said very softly.

"What flavor?"

"Any one you want."

"I think I'd rather have some ice cream."

Duncan froze and looked skeptically at her. "Kind of cold, isn't it?"

Methos roared with laughter and nearly dumped Kyrdwyn off his lap. He was hard pressed to hang onto her and not dump the plate of Ding-dongs perched on the chair arm.

"MacNair still has her suit on, did you notice?" said lynnann.

Both men craned their necks at the pool. The red Speedos were caught in the overflow filter and hung there crazily.

"Playing hard to get, is she?" laughed Methos.

"Clothes never stopped him before," said Krydwyn dryly.

"A foot of snow doesn't stop him!" said Duncan with a laugh.

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lynnann smiled mysteriously..."Ice cream's not too cold if you let it melt in your mouth a little first." Duncan raised his eyebrows so high--they disappeared under his hairline.

"Um...has anyone noticed that the water is beginning to overflow?" asked Methos. "Maybe someone should remove the Speedos from the drain?" kyrdwyn ignored him as she was testing out how the cream filling of the Ding-dongs looked on his bare chest.

Richie grinned and debated whether he should mention to lahoffy that that was not the elephant's trunk she had hold of.

And MacNair and Connor continued the breathing lessons.

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lahoffy's giggling (she knew exactly what she was doing), and Rich's laughter made lynnann turn her head briefly from the lips of the highlander. Her eyes widened in panic as she saw the orange tide of Cheeto soup drifting towards them. "AAAHHH! Get me out of here! I'm not turning my skin orange again. ACK! I look horrible in orange!" She pushed away from Duncan, but thought better of it and grabbed his hand to pull him along behind her. They found a non-Crisco'd spot along the side of the pool to pull themselves out, and laughed helplessly as Puff first turned orange, and then as he began to slurp some Cheeto soup.

Duncan fished the red Speedos out of the filter, while lynnann, bright red (thankfully not bright orange) readjusted her suit, and the sudden rush of water sucked the floatys and the underwater participants towards the drain.

Methos was watching with great interest, squirming, as kyrdwyn continued to apply and remove the Ding-dong cream filling to his body "When is it my turn?" he asked. "Not yet...oh not yet. Besides, you prefer the Twinkie cream filling, don't you?"

Duncan returned to lynnann's side. "So, icecream, you said? Chocolate, I presume."

"You know me so well," she cooed, "and with whipped cream, if you like."

"I like," his dark eyes twinkled. He threw the red Speedos over his shoulder back into the pool...

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Duncan and Methos went off in search of chocolate ice cream and Twinkies, respectively, while lynnann and kyrdwyn waited patiently for their Immortals to return.

Meanwhile, Richie had rescued lahoffy from the pull of the drain and pulled her out of the pool. They had found some discarded towels and were drying off, quickly turning the white towels orange. Rich spotted kyrdwyn sitting alone in the lounge chair, and with a snicker, promptly dumped her out of it so that he and lahoffy could steal it. kyrdwyn sat and rubbed her sore behind, glaring vengeance at the RYG, and then everyone's attention was drawn to the pool as Connor and MacNair finally surfaced--both sans swimwear. What Connor didn't do, the suction of the drain had accomplished, and MacNair's swimsuit was history.

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"NOT in the pool Rich!" yelled Methos from the sidelines. He gave Duncan a longsuffering look. To his chagrin, the dark Highlander was quite busy with ... chocolate ice cream and lynnann.

"Oh, that's not right!" he commented. No one was listening to him. And it was darned distracting having Kyrdwyn licking Ding-dong cream off of his abdomen in such a languid fashion too. He had been a very wise boy to wear fashionable and currently trendy long swim trunks. Sometime these other youngsters would get a clue and realize that keeping things more UNEXPOSED was more alluring.

Although right about now, he would like to expose more of what was on his lap ... but the last time he had fingered the halter top, Kyrdwyn had swatted him! In due time, he supposed. How much creme filling could she eat, after all?

"NOT in the pool, Rich!" he yelled more industriously. The water was bobbing. "Yuck!"

"Don't yell at me! It's Connor and MacNair!" shouted back the youth. His blue eyes shot daggers at Methos. "Did you forget they were on the bottom?"

Not for long, it seemed. MacNair lunged over the side, pulling up the straps to her swimsuit and marched out of the party room. She left pools of water with every step and did not even pause at the door--she simply barged through it.

Duncan regarded her retreating form, momentarily distracted from lynnann who was tracing circles on his shoulder with her tongue. The ice cream was little relief from the heat that suffused his chest and groin. He felt like stalking off too ... carrying lynnann right along with him, of course.

"What?" began Methos, and then he stopped.

Connor MacLeod surged out of the water, stark naked and stalked out the door after MacNair. More watery footprints dippled the ground. The entire hallway inside would be wet.

"Did they fight?" asked Kyrdwyn, alarmed.

"MacNair?" returned lahoffy from a distance. "MacNair adores Connor. Why would they fight?"

Duncan eyed Methos a moment. "She really likes the string."

"The string?" inquired Methos, confused.

"You don't know about the string?" said Kyrdwyn, raising her head from the sculpted abdomen. "Ooo, baby. You gotta practice!"

Duncan grinned. Methos had a suspicion that he was not going to like this.

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kyrdwyn grinned wickedly as she tugged Methos out of the chair. "Come on, babe, I'll show you the little trick with a string."

Methos glanced worriedly at Duncan, who grinned wickedly and waved him away. Kyrdwyn dragged a semi-protesting Methos in her wake as she walked through the doors MacNair and Connor had just passed through.

Faint giggling and moans could be heard wafting from the various rooms of the house. lynnann smiled sleepily at Duncan.

"Shall we adjourn as well, my love?" she purred seductively.

In response, Duncan did what he had been waiting to do all night, sweeping her up into his arms, and carrying her away into the night.

Richie glanced at lahoffy. "Guess it's just you and me, now."

"Umm, I guess, know anything about silk scarves?" he asked, smiling wikkedly, pulling him into the house as well.

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Epilogue

The floatys bobbed in the Cheeto soup, slurping occasionally, drifting aimlessly, particularly the teddy bear, which had the red Speedos partially draped over its head. Their job was done, for this night, at any rate.

They had witnessed the giggling, the raised eyebrows, the nekkid and nearly nekkid women and immortals. Not to mention the extraordinary uses of various forms of food. Who knew creme filled Ding-dongs could be so...entertaining?

The elephant and the dragon passed each other slowly, winking as they did. They didn't mean for it to get so out of hand...all they wanted were lynnann's homemade chocolate chip cookies. Who would have guessed the kid would get blamed? They couldn't have planned it any better, though. Cheeto soup or Dorito soup, it didn't get much better. Next time though, the popular vote was for barbecued potato chips--if they could just get the RYG to cooperate. The kid knew how to make soup and potato soup. Barbecue style would be very, very good.

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Duncan was already up at poolside by 7 am, dutifully deflating floaties and picking up discarded soda cans. Connor appeared, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand and carrying 2 cups of coffee in the other. Duncan took one from him without a word.

"Who started this?" asked Methos, groggly. He kept shaking his head as if something was wrong.

"Rich," simultaneously said both MacLeods.

"What's the matter, Methos?" inquired Duncan, eyeing his friend.

"I can't seem to ... I think I've hurt myself somehow." Methos paused and looked at the two Scots. "It doesn't make any sense! I can't hear out of this ear this morning!"

Connor had a fit of the chuckles and Duncan had to steady his stance when the elder MacLeod leaned on him to laugh. They both nearly fell on the Crisco laden sidewalk. "Kyrdwyn got you. She likes to give us a spook with that creme filling ... she stuffed your ear full of it." Duncan used the same wise smug voice that Methos always used on him!. "A real hot shower will fix you right up."

"Real hot!" Connor yelled after the immortal as he stalked away, murmuring threats. His foot slipped on the greased surface and he grappled Duncan to keep from falling. Hot coffee splopped his hand and he swore.

"Steady cousin," Duncan chuckled. "You'll scald us both."

"Damn, I'm tired this morning. I didn't think immortals even got tired?! I would have had more sleep if I'd bunked with you..."

"Not as much fun, though..." Duncan's eyes were dreamy and far away. He didn't see Connor's twinkling eyes, but the jab in the ribs got his attention.

"Scrub-scrub-scrub," the elder man said. "Next time tell him to use something less dangerous, hmmmm? I thought I wouldn't have any kneecaps left after that fall!"

"With your bony knees, no wonder—OOF! Okay! Okay!"

Silence. The sound of slurping coffee and scrubbing brushes. The swirling sucking gurgling of the POD finally draining to the bottom.

"MacNair's getting better."

Duncan looked up and eyed his brother. "Better at what?"

"With that string. I almost broke it last night," he looked up at the younger man's laugh. "It's not funny, dammit. I haven't gone through a string since I was ... well .... since before strings were invented!"

Duncan had to sit down to laugh. Connor worked on alone, scowling.

"What would she do if you ever broke the string, I wonder?"

"I don't want to find out," grimly said Connor. "She asked me if I've ever seen an immortal beheaded with a nail file."

~finis~
Nov 10, 2000