"Damn it" sighed Duncan. "Connor's dead. Don't you just hate it when that happens?"

"Don't know what you're moaning about, I'm the one who's dead!" grumped a muffled voice from the coffin.

"Yeah, but you've got it easy, don't you? You just have to lie there..."

"Well, it's not like I'm enjoying myself in here!"

"...I get all the emotional trauma and legal hassles, and those coffins are bloody expensive you know!"

"You were robbed. There's some really shoddy workmanship on the inside of this thing. And it's cramped as hell. I don't want to spend the afterlife all squished up."

"You ungrateful wretch, here I am devastated by the loss of my kinsman, overwhelmed by grief..."

"Yeah, right. You just sound pissed off to me!"

"Overwhelmed by GRIEF, I said, and you're complaining about the quality of your burial! If you didn't keep dying all the bloody time I'd have been able to afford a higher class of undertaker. As it is, I'm going to have to start reusing these coffins."

"HEY! You can't do that! Have you no respect for the dead?"

"Not when they answer back and refuse to rest in peace, no."

"Look, none of this is my fault! Those rotten fanfic writers have killed me off and resurrected me so many times I'm becoming allergic to shrouds. I don't like it any more than you do."

"I know, I'm sorry," said Duncan contritely.

"Sodding hell," interrupted Methos. "Would you just get on with the funeral? The sooner we bury him, the sooner he can come back. And some of us would like to get to the wake before the beer warms up!"

"Alright, alright," Connor moaned (sepulchrally of course). "I'll be good, but you'd better leave some whisky for me, and if I hear any sniggering during the eulogy, I'll set k'lynn and Ennaj on you..."

JanneCDC
Apr 23 2002

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