hayden
May 2, 2002

It had been raining for two weeks at Clan CDC. At first the rain hadn't been a problem. The compound had been cleaned till it shone and honey-do lists were emptied. The ladies continued to busy themselves with their usual hobbies of computer antics, fru wars, and of course, drooling during the immortal's workouts.

But the immortals were soon at their wits ends. While they were immortal, they were still men and being such they were soon underfoot making it difficult for the ladies to continue their antics. Something had to be done.

And when something needs to be done the ladies go shopping. hayden, lahoffy, MacNair, Janne and Sharz jumped into lahoffy's van and headed to the mall with a plan. DVD's and lots of them!

The girls hunted the stores until they found every last movie they could think of involving men, swords and battles.

The rest of the ladies had been left to supervise the immortals and had their work cut out for them.

Sheeza met them at the door. "Thank goodness you're back before heads begin to roll! Duncan decided that lynnann had to improve her chess game so he would lose more clothes during strip chess. She getting very frustrated and Connor isn't helping matters by umping the game."

"Oh my, they know she hates chess and just plays in order to get them nekkid. Why don't they just spot her the four clothing items like we suggested?" sighed lahoffy.

"What about the other two?" Inquired MacNair.

"Wellll, the old man is tending hayden's pregnant cat. He keeps taking her vitals and he's got pacem boiling water. I think she's about had it with him though. Good thing he heals quick, she's scratched him a couple of times now."

"Ugh," replied hayden. "Doesn't he know she needs her rest?"

"And Rich?" asked Janne.

"I'm really sorry, lahoffy. We tried to stop him. Really we did."

"What did he do to my bike?!?" shrieked lahoffy.

lahoffyCDC
May 2, 2002

The scream of outrage echoed around the compound. The three immortals not involved cringed, the hair on the back of their necks rising at the threat of violence laced through it.

Methos rubbed the latest scratches received from the mommy-to-be, thinking he'd rather tangle with a temperamental pregnant cat than deal with the owner of that scream at the moment.

Duncan hastily began shedding clothes, ceding the chess game to lynnann in an effort to stay on someone's good side.

Connor did the same.

Richie, however, was not so fortunate.

"MY BIKE!! What did you do to my poor baby?" screamed lahoffy as she surveyed the wreckage of what was once a motorcycle.

"I just thought I'd tweak it a bit--" Yelping, he ducked a wrench thrown his way.

"It didn't need tweaking! It was a brand new bike!!" Pliers flew through the air, aimed at the redheaded youngster.

"Well, yeah, but, didn't you want it louder?"

ZZZZZIIINNNGGGG!!! went the halo, sending Richie diving for the floor.

"OUT! OUT! OUT!! Go watch the movies we got for you guys. And don't come near my bike again!!" To hasten his exit, she sent the fender winging his way.

Richie scrambled through the door, closing it in time to hear the muffled WHUMP of an unidentified object smacking into it, followed by the sounds of muffled obscenities.

MacNairCDC
May 2, 2002

Methos stayed beneath the bed. Listening to the purr of a cat, albeit a slightly irritated one, was preferable to being out in harms way. "I know when to hide my hide," he chuckled. Momma kitty nudged him with her chin in the proverbial: "I'm the cat --- you must attend me" fashion. The ROG curled up around her nest of socks and shirts and obligingly petted her.

"It won't be long, little pretty, and we'll have a pack of little scraps of fur racing around here," he soliloquized. "I see you managed to cart off all of Duncan's striped socks. Here he has been barking at the girls for stealing them--and it was the wrong girl he was accusing!"

Meanwhile, the loud ranting in the garage continued at full volume. lahoffy put all the pieces of her bike in one place and threw all of Richie's tools out the front door of the shop. They skittered haphazardly and five sank in the pool.

Connor, craning his neck to look out the window, cringed.

"What'd she do?" Duncan asked.

"Rich's tools are going for a swim."

"The power tools?" the darker man asked, aghast.

"At least one of them. I saw the cord whip over the edge."

Duncan sighed. Rich is going to be replacing tools with his hard-earned wages instead of buying trinkets for his bike.

"A-hem, it's your move," lynnann announced.

Duncan refocused on the chessboard. What did she move? he wondered.

"Check in two moves," Connor patiently said. "You're going to be trotting about naked, Duncan."

Sheeza
May 3, 2002

Heading into the kitchen, trying to avoid the general mayhem of lahoffy's anger, Richie's contriteness, and the distraction of the chess game, Sheeza grabbed pacem and dragged her along to put together a late afternoon snack buffet.

"Boy, pacem, Richie really stepped in it this time, huh?" Sheeza glanced sidelong at the woman next to her. "How long do you think it'll be before it'll be safe to go back into the garage?"

Cutting melon into chunks and tossing it into a bowl, pacem seemed to ponder the question with great depth. "I don't know. You saw the bike didn't you? What was that boy thinking?"

Nibbling on a slice of Swiss cheese, Sheeza chuckled, her attention on eating the cheese without breaking any holes.

"I'll wager that was part of the problem. He wasn't thinking!"

Crossing towards the stove, pacem took the teakettle off the flame and poured the boiling hot water over tea bags in a glass pitcher. "Wonder if there has been any progress on the game? Think lynnann will get the upper hand?"

"That's anybody's guess right now. Even if Duncan doesn't have sleeves, he seems to have a trick or two up 'em anyway."

lahoffy stormed into the kitchen muttering to herself, her hair a stormy halo about her head. After she had zinged her real one at Richie, there wasn't anything to keep her curls at bay. A black greasy stripe decorated one cheek.

"Man! What a nightmare! My bike! I'm gonna put that boy in a pile that looks just like the pile that WAS my poor, defenseless bike!"

From behind her on the counter, Sheeza held out a beautifully decorated banana cream pie. On top, flakes of chocolate were sprinkled around, and a ripe, luscious long stemmed maraschino cherry marked every slice.

"Hon," Sheeza replied, sympathy deepening her voice, "why don't you go wash your hands? You might feel better if you eat something. Besides, got your favorite, see?"

For the first time since she had returned home, lahoffy's face sported a blinding smile. "Oh, Sheeza, that's perfect! Just what I needed!"

pacem was as thrilled as Sheeza to see their friend happy. "How's about you help us and go put it on the table, OK, lahoffy?"

"Will I? You bet!" Lahoffy took the pie from Sheeza and headed for the door.

hayden
May 3, 2002

Meanwhile in the living room--

hayden had been standing amidst a rapidly increasing pool of drool as she watched the near nakkid Highlanders. She felt herself struggling and finally small animal-like sounds reverberated from her.

"pacem, quick bring hayden a fresh drool bucket", shouted Sharz. pacem rushed into the room with two drool buckets and joined Sharz in evaluating hayden's strange behavior.

Janne joined the trio. "Why 2 buckets, pacem? Is she that bad?"

"Weelll, no, I just figured if she needed one, I would too!"

The strange noises coming from hayden became louder. All eyes turned towards her... .

"Duncan, Connor, put on your clothes and watch movies!!!" she bellowed.

A shudder went through the room. Immortal and mortal stared at each other in shock. Did hayden really tell the objects of her affection to put clothes ON?

lahoffy
May 4, 2002

The room was silent as all eyes focused on hayden. Nobody moved. Nobody even dared breathe. This was unheard of in the CDC history! Nobody had ever wanted the Highlanders to put clothes back ON!!

lynnann finally spoke. "Somebody go get Methos, hayden needs a doctor. She's got to be sick or running a fever or something."

MacNair placed a hand against hayden's forehead. "Yep, awfully warm here. That's gotta be it. Fever. No other explanation for it."

pacem scrambled from the room, shouting for Methos to come quick.

Duncan and Connor were still in shock. Put clothes on? Was that possible?

Back in the kitchen, blissfully unaware of the goings on in the library, lahoffy was happily carrying the lovely banana cream pie Sheeza had made toward the doorway to the dining room.

At the same time that Richie was heading to the kitchen to find a snack.

In his usual exuberant way, Richie banged the door open and barged through.

Smack into lahoffy and the pie.

The pie went flying upwards, flipping end over end before smashing back down on lahoffy's head.

Richie gaped in horror at the cream dripping off the clansib. Then made the mistake of laughing at the sight of the lone cherry sitting on the top of her head.

The second scream of outrage for that day blasted through the house.

MacNair
May 4, 2002

"That's it," the oldest immortal in the world said aloud. "I am going to live under this bed!" The bedlam in the main house of the CDC compound was deafening! Loud yells, running feet, objects being hurled ... Methos sank down next to his pregnant charge and wished he had a pile of laundry himself to hide in! And pacem was running down the hallway above his head, shouting for him to come right away! "If wishes were fishes, we'd all have a fry," he muttered. "I am not coming out!"

Chomp! "OUCH!" Methos yelped, jerking his hand back. The cat had sunk her teeth into his finger and now was whuffling about in her nest of Duncan's socks, obviously in labor! "Oh no! NOW?" groaned the ROG. "I'm not ready!"

Meanwhile, in the library, the two Highlanders had arrived at a conclusion to the fracas.

"Let's put on our jeans and see if hayden will get put back to rights if she sees less skin."

"I think she needs a liter of IV fluids myself."

"Well, in lieu of playing 'Doctor' today, how about just putting on our pants?"

"If I'm suppose to watch movies all day and flop on the couch, then I want to be comfortable!" argued Connor. "I'm wearing cut-offs!"

"Okay, okay. Cut-offs for you and jeans for me."

"What is that infernal screeching coming from the kitchen all about anyway?" announced Connor after the decision was made.

"That ... is ... sounds like ... um ... it has to be," Duncan wondered aloud, "lahoffy! Yes, that's lahoffy."

"LAHOFFY?!" Connor looked aghast. "Again?"

"Where's Rich?" Duncan demanded, suddenly aware of the lean redhead's absence. How am I suppose to keep track of that boy if he keeps disappearing? "He was right here!"

Rumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumble rumblerumblerumblerumblerumblerumble! came the sound of sprinting feet. Richie tore around the corner with a look of terror and used one arm on the banister of the stairs to 'whing' his way through the turn and down the hallway.

Right behind him, whipped cream dappling off behind her like sodden clumps of snow, raced lahoffy. She had a look of murder in her face and there was a constant stream of unintelligible words spilling out of her mouth. She launched down the hallway after the fleeing youth without a break in her stride.

She left a cherry in the center of the hardwood floor.

Every eye in the library fastened on that red orb with the stem, too shocked and mesmerized to think, let alone act.

~tick~tock~ said the clock.

"Richie--?" sputtered Connor.

"lahoffy!"

"The hall!"

"There's no EXIT down that hall!" yelled Duncan.

The room turned into pandemonium as both Highlanders raced for the dead-end passageway at the same time, scattering CDCers right and left. And, as they ran, neither one had any idea of exactly whom they were racing after--Richie or lahoffy.

"Umm," murmured MacNair to no one in particular, "they forgot to put on their pants... ."

pacem
May 4, 2002

Richie came to the end of the hall. In that split second when he realized that he had to think fast and live... .

or die...

he turned around---threw his hands up---smiled angelically and softly said, "I submit."

lahoffy, with too much momentum to react or stop just barreled into the RYG.

For several moments all that was visible was flying banana cream, chocolate shavings and another silly cherry!

When the wild ruckus stopped, lahoffy and Richie were sitting on the floor wearing that wonderful confection created by Sheeza.

They looked up at the two cousins who came charging down the hall, sans pants, and burst out laughing!

As they were rolling around in banana cream goo they didn't notice hayden's dog, Lucky, come bounding in, happy to be part of the fun and delighted to get some dessert to boot.

The hilarity subsided and then everyone noticed the eerie quiet from the bedroom... .

Sheeza
May 5, 2002

Hurrying up the stairs, lynnann, MacNair, pacem, and Sharz chattered about the crises going on upstairs. They half carried the swooned hayden with them because, upon hearing the loud crash of their clansib and the RYG, they had to investigate. As they neared the top of the steps, a loud, seemingly endless and plaintive wail erupted from the open bedroom door on their left.

MacNair kicked it into second gear and burst through the doorway, fearful that somebody had been injured. She skidded to a halt when her eyes landed upon the ROG.

Methos paced quickly back and forth across the small bedroom, wringing his hands something fierce. When he neared the bed, he dropped like a rock to the floor and peered under the mattress.

His feet tattooed a rhythm on the floor as he gave voice to yet another howl. Leaping to his fight like a giant spring, Methos resumed his pacing and wringing of hands.

"Methos! Hon, what's the matter?" MacNair was truly astonished to see him acting so out of character. Normally, he is smooth, snarky, and quick with the quip. And now... now? She saw before her, a panic-stricken freaked-out man.

The ladies coming behind MacNair crowded around the door and peered in at the old man.

Spinning towards the women, Methos looked at them, his eyes wild and full of fear. Stabbing a finger repeatedly towards the bed, his mouth opened a closed several times.

"Breathe!" screamed lynnann.

"Yeah... breathe!" chimed in pacem.

Sharz assessed the situation and squeezed past the other ladies to stand next to MacNair. Glancing towards the bed, she moved to it, getting down on her knees and peeking underneath the blanket that covered it.

"Hmmmm... looks like the cat is having her babies. I see one... oh, and here comes the second one. By the way," she asked, in a calm voice, "who gave her Duncan's socks to nest in?"

Dropping the blanket back into place, Sharz stood up and wiped her hands on the back of her jeans. Looking from MacNair back to Methos, "Duncan's probably not going to like that," she said.

Connor realized looking down, that maybe he was sporting a little too much skin. Turning, he headed towards the CDC'ers, crowded around the doorway.

Duncan, having heard the wails coming from the room behind him down the hall, went to investigate. Looking in from behind the wall of women blocking the door, he managed to hear Sharz' statement.

"What wouldn't I like?" he asked out of curiosity.

MacNairCDC

hayden
May 6, 2002

"Hi, guys! What's happening?" hayden inquired. "Duncan, why do you have so many clothes on?"

"She's back!!!" her friends yelled in unison. hayden was engulfed in hugs and well wishes.

"Duncan, you need less clothes," chimed hayden.

"Make up your mind woman and what won't I like?"

"Oh, hayden's cat is having kittens," replied a distracted Sharz.

"In your socks," threw in Janne.

"What??? My socks!!! NO!!!!! She can't!"

Methos turned and grinned, "You tell HER that."

"My baby," squealed a delighted hadyen as she rushed to the bed. "Oh my, there are 4 now. Aren't they cute?"

As hayden raised the blanket, Duncan was able to get a peek at his former socks. "Those are my good ones from Scotland! Who gave her my socks?"

Connor smirked, "Oh, I don't know, Duncan. Who around here prefers you barefoot?!"

MacNair
May 7, 2002

"LAHOFFY!" shouted Duncan. He spun on one foot and marched back out the door in search of the culprit. The alarmed CDCers ran out after him, though whether to intercept the Scot, save their clansib, or simply to watch, no one knew.

"Guess I'll be buying more socks on his birthday, won't I?" Connor soliloquized to the only person left in the room. "Socks are cheap. That's good."

Methos removed his last scratched finger from his mouth and laughed. "YOU gave her the socks just to avoid having to come up with some other gift idea? Wait until I tell--"

"--And if you tell, what do you think will happen to your birthday gift?"

"Uh-h," the ROG muttered. Connor gives great gifts. He bought that frisky mare for Duncan and I know she was expensive! I'd better shut my trap on this one! "I guess I won't tell him. lahoffy can take the punishment."

"You're a smart man," Connor smugly returned. "Besides ... lahoffy will probably enjoy being punished by Duncan."

Methos crouched down to peer at the laboring kitty beneath the bed. "Are you okay under here, missy?"

Connor quirked an eyebrow at the other man. Methos talks to cats? Ahh, you're a softy after all, aren't you? The elder Highlander knelt down as well and moved socks around to see her. "Five of them? She's still pretty plump ... we might end up with eight."

"Eight?"

"Eight is the biggest litter I've seen."

"Here is number six ... uh, oh," Methos announced. "It's not moving much." He reached out and snared the little wet scrap before momma kitty could sink her claws into him. He cupped the kitten in both hands and rubbed it, breathing warmly into its face for a moment. In short order, all four legs were scratching around and the little blind face was searching. "Here now, here's your mom--OUCH! Dammit!" he yelped, jerking back his hand. "I'm only trying to help!"

"Isn't that always how it is. You're just trying to help and it just gets worse. We were suppose to get to lie on the couch and watch some movies."

Silence. Kitten number seven arrived with a squirm. The cat growled beneath her breath at her two watchers.

"Does lying down on the floor in a bedroom watching a cat give birth count?" asked Methos.

Connor pelted him with the nearest tartan sock.

Pacem
May 7, 2002

Methos and Connor waited with mama cat to make sure everyone was safe and accounted for. They piled a tartan fortress of socks around the nursing family and tiptoed out of the room discussing the histories of birthing practices of long ago cultures.

The compound seemed rather quiet... Sheeza was in the kitchen telling magical stories of Pied Piper pies to MacNair and Janne as she popped a big bowl of popcorn.

Hayden was showing lynnann and pacem the DVDs they had bought.

Sharz, needed some cheering up so she watched Lucky clean up the last of the banana cream pie in the hallway. As she sat there with the happy puppy she noticed something out of the corner of her eye and said to Lucky, "Was that Duncan? And why is he in his skivvies?"

Richie was gathering his tools and muttering about ungrateful women and Duncan, of course, was stalking lahoffy.

As immortals and the ladies gravitated into the living room, no one seemed to notice that lahoffy and Duncan were missing. Someone popped one of the new DVDs into the player. Remember Hayden saying, "They found every last movie they could think of involving men, swords and battles."

Someone turned down the lights and bodies were sprawled and draped around the room. An air of contentment wafted up as TV screen cast a bluish glow across the room... .

And who should appear? That most famous Scot, William Wallace... .

"MEL GIBSON!!!!???? Groannnnnnnnnnnnnnn *boo** hiss*" Immortals were throwing pillows and popcorn and snide comments.

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhushhhh," the ladies commanded, being equal opportunity droolers.

Just as all heck was about to break out, they recognized Duncan's distinctive and triumphant brogue as he called out, somewhere on the compound, "I got ye now, lahoffy!"

Sheeza
May 7, 2002

Pouring on the speed, Duncan ran down the lawn, sprinting after lahoffy, who had dashed into the barn.

I've got that wench now! Ha! Trying to keep me barefooted!

Approaching the door to the barn, the young Scot skidded to a halt, listening to see if he might be ambushed when he entered.

Behind him, he heard the dull roar of immortal and CDC's obviously cheering over something. Picking out pacem's delighted screams, he smiled and secretly admitted to himself that it was a pretty good movie.

Turning his mind to immediate matters, Duncan stepped just inside the doorway, all his senses on high alert.

The barn was still, rays of sunlight slipped through cracks in the boards, dust motes drifting in and out of them. Off to his right, he heard the snapping sound that wood sometimes makes when it's warm.

Patience Duncan... she's here... have a little patience... .

Just then, he heard what he was waiting for. Above him, muffled and soft, he heard it. A sneeze, brought on by allergies that only lahoffy had.

Swiftly crossing the distance, Duncan leaped onto the ladder and gained the loft in record time. "lahoffy!" Duncan crouched low, his arms out, hands flexing; just itching to get his hands on the woman who gave all his beloved socks to a pregnant cat. "Come out and take your medicine," he growled, his eyes flashing, his grin toothy.

lahoffy cringed, tired and getting sick of smelling bananas. She felt her nose tickle and knew it was about to betray her position once more.

Standing, she resigned herself to taking her punishment. "Ah... ah... CHOO! I'b here Duckid... jes ged id ober wid," she spoke, her nose completely stopped up.

Duncan stood there, crouching still, trying to look more menacing than he actually felt. To lahoffy, he looked plenty angry, and with her stuffy head, she was no match for the immortal. She couldn't think of any defense or way out of her predicament.

lahoffy shifted from one foot to the other. She was miserable, instantly sorry she panicked and ran into this awful place. Her hair, which was still up on her head, was matted with banana cream. And there, glued to her bun, was that cherry, like a gem in the center of a tiara.

Suddenly, Duncan didn't feel so much like punishing lahoffy. Slowly approaching her, he leaned in and plucked the cherry from atop her head.

"Got your cherry!" he sing-songed, his grin lopsided and wicked.

Her eyes opened wide, in surprise. "You gib thad back!"

Turning, Duncan looked over his shoulder and giggled. "Make me!" With that, he leaped, dropping to the floor below.

"Dab you Duckin MacLeod! Gib me back by cherry!" Climbing down the ladder as quickly as she could, sneezing twice for good measure. "I'b gonna gid thad mad if iz tha las' thig I do," she wheezed, as she trotted after him.

Hayden
May 8, 2002

Always on guard, the elder Scot and ROG bolted when they heard the disruption coming from the pool area. "What was that?"

"I think Duncan has caught up with lahoffy." Connor exclaimed as they bolted from the room with Lucky close on their heels.

"Hey, the movie!" the ladies grumbled. But when they heard the racket they paused--then followed their defenders.

"Would you two children please STOP that infernal bickering!!!" barked the old man. "Enough is enough!"

All forward momentum stopped at that moment--except for Lucky who, sensing in the air more of the delicious treat he enjoyed earlier, continued on at his usual break-neck speed.

Hayden had once referred to him has a football player. He demonstrated that, and more, in the pursuit of his desire. Flying through the air, he tackled Duncan mid-chest sending him flying into lahoffy. The tangle of dog, man, banana creme, cherry and lahoffy finally stopped has they hit the pool of drool.

lahoffyCDC
May 8, 2002

SPLASH!! went the tangle of dog, man, banana cream, cherry and lahoffy into the pool, sending a geyser of water into the air that then slopped over onto the spectators. Silence reigned except for the drops of water that dripped slowly off each soaked bystander.

The cherry floated merrily to the top, bobbing its way across the pool.

Duncan surfaced next, followed by Lucky, who paddled his way to the steps, climbed out and did the doggy shake to dry himself off, much to the dismay of everyone who stood in his way.

Connor, seeing that lahoffy still hadn't surfaced, dived in after her. He found her sitting on the bottom of the pool, pouting and turning blue.

Feeling sorry for the poor lass, who had had her bike disassembled, a banana cream pie smashed onto her head and an angry Duncan chasing her, (which was his fault, after all) and the final indignity of an unexpected dive into the pool, Connor gathered her close, gave her a breath and sat down next to her.

Let the others wonder and argue up there, the elder Scot thought. We can sit here all night if we have to.

MacNair
May 8, 2002

But then I'll miss the rest of the movie. And they've got some great fights in there! The thought made Connor frown at the same time that he leaned to give lahoffy her next puff of air, and the CDCer's eyes widened at the sight. She pantomimed a frowned face right back to him and gestured with her hands.

He tried to explain, speaking s-l-o-w-l-y beneath the water, but lahoffy's eyes just got more alarmed as she heard, "ah wnt to c-mel faught."

He went to sea for WHAT? she thought, alarmed. What the Hades is he talking about?

Connor sighed and rolled his eyes dramatically. He hadn't ever practiced just talking to the girls beneath the water, they always practiced ... other things. He tried to remind her that there were kilts on the TV and they were missing a great usage of them.

All lahoffy heard was, "lif kill an wag a thm!"

He wants to kill a wagon? She backpedaled away from the immortal beneath the water. I think this old boy has finally had too much water in his ears! It's shorting out his quickening! She launched for the surface and floundered out of the pool with Connor a stroke behind her.

Poolside was empty -- there wasn't a soul to rescue her from this haywire Scot!

"What are you talking about, Connor?" she calmly said, while inching her way away from him. Connor was swiping the water off his face and bare chest.

"We're missing Mel!"

"Mel?"

"Mel Gibson? Braveheart? The fights? Swinging swords and swinging ... uh ... other things as well?"

The Keeper of the Halo oriented immediately to the movie in question and a certain scene in particular. "Now, THAT one I'd like recreated!"

"Right now?" the Highlander protested. "I'm not even in a kilt -- it just doesn't have the right effect!"

"No, no, no, you blasted Scot, later! Quick! We're missing the flick!" and she trotted off to the main house leaving a trail of water prints.

"Finally," Connor muttered. "All I wanted to be today was a couch potato and there has been damn little couch in my day!" He stalked away towards the house as well, leaving a skim of white cream and three cherries floating atop the pool.

pacem
May 8, 2002

lahoffy and Connor joined the others back in the TV room, both settling down on the floor with Sheeza's big bowl of popcorn between them. Lucky curled up at lahoffy's feet and Connor wrapped his arms around her shoulders. The two of them did a good job of keeping a chill off the drenched CDCer.

Methos was complaining that Mel stole his "blue face" until someone pointed out that Braveheart came out before "Comes a Horseman."

"Grmpfht" Methos muttered. He went on to explain to no one in particular the historical inaccuracies of Wallace's story.

Someone threw a pillow at him and asked him to please be quiet--it was small pillow so it must have been MacNair.

He sighed heavily, put his head down on the couch and soon was snoring like a stevedore with a deviated septum.

Someone got the idea--and I don't really know who--that while he was asleep they would paint his face blue.

Just for old time's sake.

The face painting crayons came out and the ladies had fun recreating that feared marauder of yore.

Of course, girls will be girls, and one thing led to another and different colors were experimented with

And different body parts were decorated

And Methos slept on...

MacNairCDC

Sheeza
May 8, 2002

The credits began rolling upwards on the screen as the closing music played on. The CDC'ers and immortals alike began to stir and chatter about this part or that gruesome detail.

On the sofa, a fully decorated and blue faced Methos slept on, oblivious to the end of the flick.

Duncan sat sprawled, comfortable in an armchair. Gaining his feet, he stretched; erks and groans marking each movement. Smacking his lips, he looked around at the pile of humanity displayed on the pillow-covered floor and decorating various pieces of furniture.

"Richie, I'm bored. Want to spar a bit? Just to get the blood going?" Duncan danced around, shadowboxing and trying to entice his friend into moving.

The RYG glanced lazily at his mentor and close friend. He had pulled up one of the dining room chairs and was sitting on the back of it.

"But Mac, they'll be putting another movie on! Right girls?" Looking around at the sea of faces, he silently beseeched them to help him get out of taking a beating from the MacLeod the younger.

hayden smiled sweetly, gently nudging pacem who sat beside her. "Naw... that's all right hon, we'll wait for you, won't we girls?"

lynnann stretched, and MacNair yawned.

"Why sure we will," quipped MacNair, always ready to watch her boys' battle, even if it's for fun.

Grinning, Duncan whirled around and waggled his eyebrows at the boy. "See? They'll wait!" Whirling back around excitedly, he looked down at them. "What's the next movie?"

Sharz leaned over, grabbing another disk before sitting back up. "And the winner is, A Knight's Tale!"

"Oh, I like that one," Sheeza crooned. "It's got Queen in it!"

Duncan took hold of Richie's shirtsleeve and pulled him off the chair. "C'mon Rich, won't take long."

Dragging the young man away and down the hall to the exercise room, the two immortals were trailed by all the CDC'ers who all wanted to see some action.

Silence reigned over the living room; the television hummed and displayed the DVD screensaver, its icon bouncing around the edges.

Suddenly, sputtering and twitching awake, Methos reared up, his hand clutching at the back of the sofa. Looking around through bleary eyes, he opened his mouth. "Queen?"

hayden
May 9, 2002

"It's about time those Highlanders learned what good music really is!" the old man exclaimed. "Hey where did everyone go?" he muttered as he suddenly realized he was alone with a blank TV screen. "Drat I missed the end!

"Oh well, Wallace died. Saw the real thing, the director probably just mucked it up anyway."

Realizing he was hungry after his nap he looked around for something to eat. "They left nothing? Why those ungrateful... ... ... . Oh well, must be more in the kitchen," he muttered to himself as he picked up some of the empty containers strewn around the room.

He heard the sound of the mock battle and smirked. "The young ones couldn't resist showing the lasses that their 'sword techniques' were better then Mel. The Scots have a jealous streak where the ladies are involved," he chuckled.

Methos reached for the popcorn and soon the smell was wafting through the manor. "That ought to get them back to the sofa."

Soon enough, Sheeza and pacem came into the kitchen carrying the remaining debris from the first movie. Upon catching a glimpse at the old man they giggled and smirked.

"What? Did I grow a second nose?" The ladies shook their heads and proceeded with the prep work. pacem walked into the pantry and came out with a beautiful cake.

"There was cake and you didn't bring it out?"

"It's for Sharz's birthday. Don't touch."

Methos grabbed a beer and proceeded out of the kitchen, running into Rich at the door. "RICH, you've got to be more careful."

"I'm sorry really I am," he gasped out, barely restraining his laughter.

"What is wrong with these kids today?" he muttered as he headed for the bathroom. Meeting Janne in the hallway, he was again met with giggles.

"I just don't understand what's going on here."

That was until he glanced in the bathroom mirror.

lahoffyCDC
May 9, 2002

Methos stared for a moment at the face reflected back at him. He hadn't seen that particular reflection in ... well, too many years to count. Forgot how handsome I look in blue. Good thing Cassandra's not around to see it, though. He glared at the image in the mirror, narrowing his eyes coldly, letting his face go blank and then chuckled softly. Yep, I've still got that "Death" look down. Some things you never forget. Think I'll leave it on, see just how long it is before everyone's in hysterics.

Then he caught sight of his chest where his shirt hung unbuttoned.

Pink hearts, red lips, a purple kitten and the signatures of all the CDC'ers and their guests were decorated gaily across every available inch of surface in every imaginable color.

"And that's the *last* time I ever sleep through a movie with this throng of crazy women," he muttered under his breath. "I hope that's not permanent markers they used."

Leaving his shirt unbuttoned to continue the charade of innocence; he picked up his beer and headed back to the living room for the next movie.

MacNairCDC
May 9, 2002

Richie wiped his face ... for the third time. His sparring match with Duncan had been over for twenty minutes; he'd scored a cold brew and guzzled it, and had been sitting down for the last ten minutes. So why am I still drippy with sweat? he pondered, cynically.

"Because Duncan thinks I need to be quartered within an inch of my life to remember everything he's ever taught me, blah-blah-blah-blah," the redhead soliloquized to himself. "What does he think I am -- immortal?" He paused and looked out over the training area. "GIVE HIM HELL, CONNOR!" he shouted at the current participants. This is another good reason to hang out in the CDC. Whenever Duncan hammers me half-to-death in this room at the edge of a blade, I can always count on Connor sauntering in and smacking Duncan around a bit!

He wasn't sure if Connor did it to keep Duncan from being so cocky, or Richie from feeling so inept ... or because he just got fired up by the sound of the swords and needed a safe opponent to work out his energy.

"Anyhow," Rich concluded, still muttering to himself, "Ow--that's gotta hurt!"

Duncan successfully got in a rake down the other man's bare chest and a line of crimson marked the passage of his blade. The younger Highlander pulled up his offensive, evaluating the injury to his kinsman ... and Connor pressed right in like lightning and cut him across shoulder and forearm.

"Dammit, Connor!"

"Hah, a scratch?"

"I was just checking to see if you were cut deeply... ."

They clinched again, swords extended and useless as muscle came into play. Duncan was stronger and punched the elder man until he ducked under the roundhouses and shifted his center of gravity to drive him back on his heels.

"Ouch! Quit the biting, you son-of-a--"

"The ladies?" Connor interrupted.

"Ladies, hell!" Duncan feinted right and caught his kinsman with a solid left hook that drove the slighter man back four steps. The swords were down in an instant, holding each other at bay. "Enough!" roared the younger Highlander and they automatically checked the next attack, breathing hard. Duncan leaned on his blade, panting, but never taking his eyes off the other man.

"Tired?"

"I've already fought Rich for forty minutes! If you've still got sand, then get Methos in here, will you?" emphatically stated Duncan. He wiped the sweat out of his eyes.

Connor looked around at the faces watching and spotted Methos instantly, leaning idly against the doorway, nursing a beer. The pink on his chest was a frivolous aside to the blue that marked his face and the elder Scot studied him across the distance.

How much of "Death" have we conjured innocently by painting him like this? I'm sure he knows and is just pretending he doesn't for the humor. But what will happen if I add swordplay into the equation?

"No, I've had enough, Duncan."

"Good." Duncan clapped the other on the shoulder and let his hand stall there a moment. "You fight like a badger, crazy man. I thought I'd learned everything."

"If I didn't fight like an alley brawler, you'd have me," returned Connor. "Damn, but you're good. I just want to go flop in a chair and watch another movie!"

"Shower first. You stink."

Connor tripped him over one foot, laughing, as they left the floor.

Pacem
May 9, 2002

*Blue's Clues*

"Shower!??!" That magic word was furtively squealed from one lady (and we are using that term loosely here, correct?) to the next. The excitement was rising, but they knew they would have to keep it contained if they were going to pull off any successful voyeurism.

Already each one was creating a strategy to insure the best vantagepoint for everyone. And soon there was a bevy of animated whispers and flying gestures indicating as silently as possible their plan of attack.

In all this frenzy, no one noticed the blue shadow in the corner.

It wouldn't have mattered, the level of anticipation was out of bounds and suggestions were being thrown right and left. Someone would have to take charge or they would still be there on the Fourth of July... ..

hayden held up her hand and with an evil glint in her eye whispered one word; "Ladder!"

Everyone knew at once what had to be done--except pacem who was still wondering where the floor plan was--someone grabbed her arm and they all took off to the barn. lahoffy refused to go in, remembering the last time she was there; so they left her at the door as a lookout and scampered in to retrieve their prize.

As quietly as mice (or at least as quietly as seven jolly mice with a large ladder and a secret mission) they set off for the old maple tree that towered over the two skylights in the ceiling of the bathhouse showers.

"Heh, heh, heh! We are soooooooooooooo clever!!" they nudged each other in their glee and anticipation.

It was Sharz's birthday and they all stepped back and grandly bowed as she took the first step up. Then they clambered and scrambled up as fast and as quiet as they could.

There is no way they could have seen the blue figure come out of the bathhouse.

They were all craning their necks to get a look inside.

There was no way they could have seen the ladder quietly disappear from the bottom of the maple tree.

~~~play that spooky music~~~

SheezaCDC
May 9, 2002

Sharz was distracted a moment ... strange and eerie music seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Unable to pinpoint its location, she shrugged and turned her attention back to the skylight in the middle of the roof.

Whispering in order to not give themselves away, or so they thought, the ladies hunched over and tiptoed to the windows.

Muffled sounds of running water could be heard below. Just then, Connor struck up a song, his voice wavering and loud. Duncan and Richie soon joined in, laughing and giggling in between the lyrics.

Careful, afraid they would make shadows from above, the ladies slowly peeked down into the room below.

"What!? They got it steamed up already?"

"How is that possible?"

lahoffy giggled. "If we raise up the glass, we can let some of the steam out. Then the fog will lift and maybe we'll see a full moon or two."

The CDC'ers giggled and snickered behind hands raised to their mouths in an attempt to be quiet.

Carefully, MacNair, lahoffy, hayden and Sharz lifted up the two windows, holding them until they could secure them with the braces that were there for just such a purpose.

Great plumes of fog spewed from the openings, spreading out and blanketing the ladies in a layer of white.

Waving their hands around, some of them blew into the cloud to hurry it away.

When the fog lessened enough to see down into the shower room, the ladies were afraid that they might have missed 'the show'.

Crowding around the openings, the CDC'ers leaned in, no longer caring if they were seen by the boys or not.

Each face was full of breathless, shining anticipation. As one, they looked down in astonishment, moments before three men with a garden hose turned it on... full force!

The volley of guffaws and knee slapping was met head on with a bevy of piercing shrieks.

"EEEEEEEEE! That water is cold!"

"Connor! Duncan! What are you doing!?"

Much to their disappointment, none of the boys were undressed.

"Richie, go shut off the showers! We'll hold 'em off," instructed Duncan.

Looking up at their faces, Connor smiled, his eyes dancing and sparkling in the shaft of light in which he stood.

"Tsk tsk tsk," admonished the elder Scot. "Anyone up for seconds?"

hayden
May 12, 2002

Suddenly two concurrent events bought the compound to a standstill. Silence reigned.

First the water stopped, leaving the drenched CDCers and their friends clinging to the tree. They were about to complain about their treatment when they realized that both Connor and Duncan wore the signature deliberate expression that indicated an unknown immortal had entered their realm.

They spotted the intruder at the same moment as the ladies.

*

*

*

*

"FITZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!" the ladies chimed in unison, "Help us!!!!!!"

The Englishman strode into the compound with deliberate purpose. He stood up to Duncan and threw the hated hose from his hand. "You daft Scot! I knew you learned your manners in a barn but really this is below barnyard antics!

Connor started to speak in their defense, but Fitz stopped him before he began, "Don't you start. You're older then he is and you're his teacher. MacLeod, this is simply unforgivable!"

Duncan finally muttered, "But Fitz, you're dead. I saw him take your head!"

Fitz spotted the oldest blue-faced man chuckling in the distance. "Really MacLeod, when will you learn not to drink that swill the old man makes? You've been hallucinating again! First Richie, then Connor, and now me? Look at me--do I LOOK dead to you? Now get the ladder and help the ladies down. IMMEDIATELY!"

Sharz was the first one down the ladder and she immediately fell into the Englishman's arms. "Oh Fitz, it was terrible!"

"Now, now, lass, Fitzie is here and all will be better. What a terrible way for these oafs to treat you on your birthday. You knew I wouldn't miss it for the world, didn't you?" Fitz proclaimed as he pulled a rose from his pocket and handed it to the drenched waif.

The girls crowded around their savior as he led them to the house.

hayden
May 13, 2002

lahoffy
May 13, 2002

Duncan and Connor watched forlornly as Fitz gathered up *their* ladies and led them into the house for a drying off session.

Methos was still chuckling softly as he leaned against the doorjamb.

Richie was staring at Duncan in amazement. Wonder how many others of us he thinks are dead? Just what the heck does the old guy *put* in those things he calls drinks? And thank goodness I've never drunk one, no telling what strange things I might see.

"I still can't believe Fitz is alive," Duncan said. He glanced over at Methos with a glare. "And how come you never told me any different?"

"You never asked," came the calm reply.

"Duncan, you're not seeing the big picture here," Connor interjected, a hint of worry in his voice. "Fitz just stole our ladies. We can't let that happen."

"Don't suppose you have any ideas on how to fix things, do you?"

"As a matter of fact, I do," Connor said with a wicked gleam in his eye.

MacNairCDC
May 13, 2002

Connor outlined the plan right there in the shower, huddled close with the brunette and redhead. The latter raised a slight protest, but curbed it with a glare from the younger Highlander. When all the ideas and orders were given, Connor shot a glance at the eavesdropping ROG at the doorway and was gratified to see him nod just once. I'm on the right track.

"Everyone know their duties? Now, GO! the older Highlander barked. The three immortals scattered through the main house and went to work.

Duncan hit the kitchen where he unloaded dishes and loaded the next batch, put away the ingredients from cake and pie making, wiped counters and mopped the floor. He washed the handprints and lipstick kisses off the windows where the CDCers watched them outside. He waded into the disarrayed pantry and put everything in order and stacked neatly. The entire kitchen sparkled.

Connor hit the main living room where he tidied magazines, recycled the discarded newspapers, dusted, and vacuumed. Then he hit the foyer, the formal dining room, and three bedrooms on the ground floor. Sheets were snapped and straightened and pillows fluffed before being neatly arraigned. He scrubbed sinks and toilets, sprayed down the shower stalls, and put out clean towels as well.

Richie hit the second floor bedrooms and the library, performing much the same tasks in every bedroom as Connor had. By the time he reached the library, the elder Highlander was huffing up the stairs to join him and Rich tossed him books to be reshelved until every item was back in its place.

"Looks good," commented Duncan, poking his head around the corner. "Laundry next."

"Aye, aye, Captain," Rich returned.

Duncan chuckled and clapped a hand on Connor's lean shoulder. "Very funny, Rich. This one's the only seadog amongst this group!"

"To the laundry," ordered the elder man with his wry smile.

They let the dryer run while they worked, sorting and folding and stacking clothing into different colored baskets. Duncan was whistling some bawdy song from a bar and Connor said the words aloud to Rich. When the young immortal had quit howling, all three of them whistled along from their places around the pile of socks, shirts, T's, jeans, shorts, dresses, handkerchiefs and lacy undergarments.

"Richie keeps taking all the lace to put away," protested Connor once.

"I notice you seem to acquire all the thongs?" reminded Duncan--and no more complaining was heard about the lacy undergarments. There were still complaints, however. "Is this MacNair's or Sheeza's?"

"Last I saw, lahoffy was in it."

"Who has this red sweater?"

"I don't know, but lynnann has a blue one that style."

"Everyone wears too many clothes around this place!"

"Here, here, I second that thought!"

"Are these your socks?"

"I don't think I have any more of those ... because a certain CAT has them all!"

"Who has the purple basket again?"

"That's hayden's, isn't it?"

"We really should label whose laundry basket is whose!"

When all the laundry was sorted and folded and stacked, the trio strode purposefully back through the house, picking up anything out of place. They were like a cyclone of hands and arms ... random objects simply disappeared and found where they belonged.

:: Through all the scurrying and tidying going on, the grumbling CDCers slowly ceased their muttering--watching the main house come clean around them ::

When two hours had passed, the trio of immortals rendezvoused back in the TV room. They scoured up all the empty plates, bowls, cups, crumbs, and half-eaten desserts as they straightened up the room.

Methos, plunked into a center recliner, just watched with a mildly amusing look on his face. Duncan took the empty plate right out of his fingers on his second pass through--earning him a mildly annoying look. Connor swung by with one last mini-cupcake and shoved it in the ROG's mouth--earning him a beseeching look for a cold brew to wash it down. Richie brought him one when they all appeared with fresh snacks.

"Put in 'Sleepless in Seattle,'" said Duncan, settling on the love seat.

"What? There's no swordfights in there?" protested Methos.

"'Sleepless' it is," reaffirmed Connor, sifting through the DVDs on the shelf. He found the correct one and put the disk in. "You don't win the women by just telling them nice things ... at least not the smart ones. You show them you care by doing things to help them."

"And by watching what they like to watch instead of always thinking of what you want to watch." Duncan filched the remote control back from the ROG and turned the volume up so the ladies would hear the opening theme.

"And apologizing a lot," Richie added in afterthought. He flopped down on a pillow on the floor near his bowl of chips and took a swig of his beer.

Connor sat in the middle of the couch ... with an enormous bowl of Oreo cookies in front of him on the table.

"Erm, what's with the cookies, Connor?" Duncan inquired mystified.

"MacNair bait."

pacem
May 13, 2002

The best laid plans of men ... and MacNair did hurry by, but without even so much as a glance at the Oreos. The clansmen and Richie could hear her breathlessly call out, "I think I found the right recipe for crème brûlée, Fitzie dear."

The clansmen and Richie, could not, however see the very slight nod from the ROG in her direction as she went on to the kitchen.

In the distance the immortals began to hear the excited exclamations of Fitz as he dramatically explained the importance of temperature control in the carmelization of the sugars for this French custard.

"Shall we have a try at it, Ladies?" he asked grandly.

"Do you think we can?"

"Will you help us, Fitz?"

"Tell us what you need?"

"Shall I get the sugar, honey?"

"Yummmmmy!"

"Can I wear the chef's hat?"

"Mmmm, look how smooth and creamy it's getting."

"And hot---it's getting hot, too."

The movie played on but the audience's attention was elsewhere. Immortal ears were straining to hear the goings on in the kitchen, but whenever one of the ladies passed by, Duncan or Connor would lounge back down nonchalantly and be sure to have some sensitive or perceptive comment to offer.

At one point, hayden came in and told Duncan she really needed him ... his eyes brightened, he looked triumphantly at Connor as he casually stretched himself up and flexed his muscles. (hayden almost lost it at that moment, but Methos' hooded eyes spoke volumes and she gathered up her resolve, swallowed hard and said... ) "Could you reach the candy thermometer off the top shelf of the pantry? Fitz needs it."

Connor snorted right out loud. Richie rolled his eyes and laughed. And Methos looked up innocently, took an Oreo and proceeded to pull it apart and lick the creamy center.

Sheeza
May 14, 2002

Suddenly unsure ... Duncan warily skirted Connor's outstretched legs and followed hayden back into the kitchen.

When they entered, all eyes turned towards him, or at least so it felt to the young Scot. Looking around at the semicircle of faces, with a certain frizzy haired Fritz in the center, made Duncan feel as though he were under a microscope.

Clearing her throat, hayden smiled sweetly and pointed at the open door of the pantry. "It's in there, dear. Can you reach it for us?"

Glancing quickly at each of the ladies, each one smiled quickly and turned to look at the open pantry door.

Fitz cocked an eyebrow, clamped his teeth onto the stem of his pipe, crossed his arms and smirked. "Aye, laddie, there's a good boy. Be a chum and get that thermometer, won't you?"

"But Fitz," Duncan began, "what do you need a thermometer for? Don't you just... ."

"MacLeod," Fitz said, interrupting his friend, "didn't hayden ask you for your help? Don't you want to help?" Fitz sought to confirm this by looking at his companions.

As though they were one, the CDC'ers began bobbing their heads in unison.

Bewildered and flummoxed, Duncan opened and closed his mouth several times before realizing he had no good response to utter. Sighing and with a shake of his head, he crossed the kitchen, Sheeza and pacem stepping aside to make way for him.

Entering the pantry, he looked up and there, with just the tip poking out of the topmost shelf was the candy thermometer.

"Now how in the blue blazes did that thing get all the way up there?" Realization dawned on him. Only one person could have done this, and for what reason, he wasn't yet sure.

Just then, he heard the door behind him snake closed, and the lock turned. He was trapped!

hayden
May 15, 2002

"So, you Blue Devil, what kind of mayhem have you planned?" Connor smirked at the old man.

"Isn't that hayden's balleywick?"

"Hmm, that little imp likes good-natured fun. You on the other hand... ... ... ... ... "

Methos gazed into his beer. "What are you implying, MacLeod?"

Suddenly a loud bellow raced through the house, "LET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!"

"Your kinsman seems to be in trouble. Shouldn't you be racing to the rescue? That is what you MacLeods do best, isn't it?"

"Rich, go help Duncan."

"Huh! Me?" Rich stops in mid bite. "Why me? What did I do?"

Methos smirked.

Connor turned to the boy who had been devouring the MacNair bait, among other things. "GO! Now, old man, what are you up too?"

lahoffy
May 15, 2002

Methos gazed over the top of his beer at the elder Highlander for a moment. "Why would you think I have anything at all to do with any of this?"

"Because that's what you do best," retorted the wily Scot.

A small smirk crossed Methos' face as he took another sip of beer.

Richie hesitantly opened the door to the kitchen and peeked his head around the corner, trying to see if the coast was clear.

It wasn't.

A war whoop of triumph sounded as he found himself tackled and dragged to the floor unceremoniously. Buried under arms and legs, the redhead looked up wildly into the grinning faces of several CDC'ers.

"It's not Connor," pouted MacNair, who was planted right in the middle of Richie's chest.

Sharz, (who was sitting on Richie's legs) commiserated with her clan-sib. "You're right. But it was supposed to be. Darn, was looking forward to a good gang tackle on that Scot."

"Richie, why are you here instead of Connor?" asked hayden, who was holding down his left arm.

"Yeah, Methos said Connor would come running to the rescue if we trapped Duncan," interjected lahoffy who was holding down the other arm.

Richie couldn't speak, sheeza was holding his mouth closed with her hand tightly across it. "So, what do we do with him now, girls?" she asked.

Richie's eyes rolled wildly from one lady to the next, he wasn't too sure he liked the sound of that question. Muffled noises of protest came from his sealed lips.

"Lock him in the laundry room," lynnann suggested from her vantage point several feet away from the pile-up.

"Good idea. Maybe with both Duncan and Richie screaming for help, Connor will come running," agreed MacNair happily.

The five CDC'ers drug their helpless captive across the kitchen floor to the laundry room and shoved him inside, locking the door.

Richie's shouts for help joined Duncan's, carrying across the house to where Connor and Methos still sat, eyeing each other.

"I assume that was supposed to be me in there, right?" asked Connor.

"Matter of fact, it was."

"Spill it, old man."

"This was supposed to be a day of lounging around being couch potatoes. Instead, we've had screeching ladies, pie tossing, ladies stuck in a tree---"

"Which was your idea," interrupted Connor.

"Dismembered bikes," Methos continued as if he hadn't heard him, "a pie-eating dog, Duncan stalking around here in a snit over socks, hayden suffering some sort of breakdown and demanding you two put your clothes back on, Fitz showing up unannounced and to top it all off? A pregnant cat giving birth! Peace and quiet, is that too much to ask for?" Methos huffed and drained the last of his beer.

Connor stared at the ROG in amazement while Duncan and Richie continued shouting and demanding freedom.

"And this is your idea of peace and quiet?"

Methos grimaced. "Not yet."

MacNair

MacNair
May 15, 2002

She was having so much fun within her domain that she didn't notice the bedlam about her in the great house. Her stars were glowing, her lava lamps lit and her dandling computer paper ribbon streamers lent the closet a festive atmosphere. She didn't hear Methos's howls when the cat bit him, didn't hear the tools plunk into the pool, didn't hear the footraces that went through the house several times.

She didn't even hear the vacuum cleaner--and k'lynn always heard the vacuum cleaner! She couldn't ride the tank as it was pulled around unless she heard it and then pounced on it as someone jerked it down the hallway.

It was the jingle bell's fault.

Of course, it's always the jingle bell's fault. Connor gave her one three inches across so she wouldn't lose it in her closet and the myriad forms of mischief that bell caused around the CDC compound could fill reams of pages! From being tied on Lucky, to being tied on Duncan's mare, to being tied around a drunken Methos during a party--that bell had made the rounds!

MacNair even tied it on Connor's string once, on a dare, and told him to keep it quiet!

There was a lot of ringing that night.

Duncan charged him a dollar for every one of them.

Connor threatened to feed him the bell.

Methos reminded the irate Highlander that it was k'lynn's bell, and he himself had given it to her.

Duncan didn't have to eat the bell, but Connor painted it bright red so he would notice if MacNair brought it in to play again. Strings, yes. Bells, no. I'm good, but not THAT good! he had protested.

Currently, the cheery cherry bell was tied to k'lynn's right ankle and THAT is why she couldn't hear anything in the house. She was dancing. Jingle-jangle-jingle-jangle-jingle-jangle-jingle-jangle-jingle-jangle! Dancing, dancing, dancing--until naptime, when she flopped down amidst her glowing stars and dandling computer ribbon streamers and the bell fell silent.

"Pownding?" she said. "Som-ping pownding?" She listened some more. "Dunkie and Wundy-boy?" She listened some more. "Dayz in TRUBL!"

The little CDC spectre groped for the key on the keyring. "Connie sez only uz in emer-gen-C! This muss B emer-gen-C!" She unlocked her closet door from the inside and ~poofed~ into her ethereal body to get down the hallway and into the kitchen in record time. She had learned that if no one saw her, then no one would get in her way and she could move much faster.

The kitchen was empty and the pantry door locked. She had no idea why the two immortals were in there, nor where the key was kept. The little spook, quite agitated by Richie's cries and Duncan's vehement calls for release, did the only thing she knew how to do--she went under the door like mist to find out what was wrong and get instructions.

All was well, her intangible vaporous form barely noted the one inch crack--but the bell caught her ankle with a yank as it hit the door! Instantly she partially transformed, howling and scratching at the abrupt manacle around her foot! Duncan and Richie, startled, scrambled out of range of the little hellcat that furiously assaulted the pantry door.

Meanwhile, in the TV room where an old Scotchman and a really old immortal were locked in a stalemate of wills, Connor MacLeod sat bolt upright in his seat. His gaze shot towards the door.

"k'lynn!" Then he was out of his seat like a rocket and out of the room.

Methos reached for another Oreo. He predicted the end.

Connor skittered into the kitchen, still in cutoffs and barefooted, and spotted the furiously ringing bell outside the pantry door immediately.

"Easy, k'lynn! EASY! I'm coming!" He groped for the spare pantry key, hidden in the cupboard and slowly opened the door, dragging the sobbing little spook with it until he had her ankle free. ~poof~ k'lynn transformed into her corporeal self and grappled her rescuer around the neck. Connor grabbed her as well, wrapping his long arms around her as if, by enfolding her completely within his grasp, she would calm down faster.

"The DOOR!" yelled Duncan.

"It's too late," barked Connor knowingly. And sure enough, the pantry door was instantly slapped shut--propelled by the many hands that had been waiting just around the corner.

"I told you that k'lynn could get him in here," soliloquized lynnann.

"Connor! You always rush to the rescue without thinking!" chided Richie. "Now they've got all three of us!"

"Four," corrected Duncan, nodding at k'lynn peering out of Connor's embrace. "She can get out whenever she wants if she takes off that bell."

"I lik bell," she informed the handsome Highlander. Her eyes got a little slanty. "I lik you, too." She eyed Richie next. "An you."

Connor laughed his distinctive laugh and said, "The wild wench in the closet is now the wild wench in the pantry!"

"... Just be careful of the donut holes ... I kinda like those," muttered Richie.

k'lynn, already fingering up the young immortal's chest, murmured ecstatically, "Whee! I gots three!"

"Well, that was predictable." Methos stretched and put his legs up on the couch. "Now for some peace and quiet!"

"Hi there, old boy," whispered a voice from the doorway. The CDCers and guests lined the doorway and extended back into the hall ... and every eye was on HIM!

"Oh no... ."

... and there was one extra watching in that crowd...

pacem
Wed May 15, 2002

"Uh Joe??!! Uh, wow, haven't seen you in forever... and what brings you to these parts?" Methos stammered as he eyed his surroundings guiltily.

"Man, I just finished a gig in town--didn't anyone tell you that I was planning on stopping in? Lets see, whom did I talk to--------oh that's right, it was Sharz--I told her I wanted to come and sing for her birthday. I know I'm late, but better late than never I say.

"Where is everyone and what is that noise in the kitchen?"

"Oh, Joe, it is a mess around here! That cat had her kittens in Duncan's socks---The CDCers and friends were up in a tree----Fitz is back----Connor, Duncan, Richie, and k'lynn are locked in the pantry---"

"They're in the pantry??? All of them??!! We gotta get them out!! Do you know what k'lynn can do and how quickly she can do it? Oh, Methos, this isn't good! Come on let's go!"

Joe was on the way into the kitchen-----the ladies were on the way into the living room--- (it was like one of those revolving door cartoons where everyone is on the tail of everyone else!)

Methos, however, knew when to make himself scarce and said to no one in particular, "I'm outa here," as he slipped back up to mama kitty's little sock haven.

Joe wasn't going to fool around with any lock. He took his cane and made kindling out of that pantry door in no time.

But, alas, it was too late. He looked inside the little room and it was not a pretty sight: doughnut holes everywhere and k'lynn sitting on top of Connor...

purring...

and swinging the jingle bell gleefully over her head like a lariat!

Duncan and Richie both down for the count,

eyes glassy,

grins silly,

and right behind him stood the CDCers and friends, momentarily in shock! They quickly regained their senses and immediately jumped onto action. It was a bevy of activity as the immortals were coddled and cuddled and coaxed back into responsiveness:

"Here, let me put this cold compress right here."

"I'll just loosen your shirt."

"Have a sip of mead."

"Let me rub your shoulders."

"I'll take off your shoes and rub your feet." (We all know who this was)

Joe just shook his head at this state of affairs and asked, "WHY???"

SheezaCDC
May 15, 2002

Entering the bedroom on tip toes, Methos drew near the bed and quietly got on his hands and knees. Easing himself under the bed, he pulled himself as close as he could to mamma cat and yet stay outside the range of her formidable claws.

As gently as he could, the old man peeled away enough socks on one side of the nest to peek in on the newest additions to the CDC compound.

Relaxing on her side, mamma cat lay with her head up, her eyes closed and with whiskers twitching on one side. She was purring so loudly, Methos imagined he could feel the wood floor vibrate.

"One, two, three, four-five, six... . uh... seven," he whispered before breaking into a wide grin. Each little kitten was firmly attached to the mamma, in a neat little row.

Resting his chin on his hands, he couldn't imagine a more beautiful sight. His eyes misted over and the tears started to flow.

"Damn!" Wiping at his face, Methos cursed himself for being a sap. "All I need is for a MacLeod to see me get all bleary over a bunch of cats," he hrumphed.

"Well now little mother, what shall we name your babies? You've got seven, and there is only one set of names I can think of that make up that number. What do you think?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

lahoffy broke from the crowd and made her way up the stairs in search of Methos. Avoiding the creaking steps, she stopped at the bedroom door when she spied an extra long pair of legs sticking out from under the bed.

Leaning against the doorframe, she had heard some suspicious sounding sniffles and moved closer to listen in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"All right, here we go," the ROG began, "we have Bashful, Doc, Grumpy, Dopey, Happy, Sleepy and uh... uh... Sleazy!"

"WHAT!?" lahoffy could no longer keep silent at that last name. Up to that point, she thought it might be cute to name the kittens after a fairy tale. "Methos!"

Surprised at the sudden scream from behind him, Methos raised his head and whacked it soundly against the underside of the bed frame.

"OW!"

Disturbed by lahoffy's screaming and Methos' subsequent thunk and yell, mamma cat stood up and shrugged off her babies.

Squaring off against the immortal under the bed, mamma growled, the fur on her back standing straight on end.

Rubbing his head furiously trying to ease the pain, he eyed the mother cat. "Uh-oh... ." was all he managed before she once again unsheathed her claws and directed them at him.

Fortunately, it was at that very second a miffed lahoffy grabbed a certain ancient immortal about the ankles and yanked him from under the bed, saving him from the clutches of an infuriated she-cat!

When he had cleared the bed, lahoffy flipped Methos over so she could confront him.

Looking up, Methos came face to face with another kind of she-cat, and this one looked just as dangerous right now.

"Methos!" lahoffy glared at the old man, her arms crossed angrily across her chest. "You can't name the kitty Sleazy!"

Smirking up at the CDC'er in a fashion that only Methos has mastered, he raised an eyebrow for emphasis. "Yes, I can."

lahoffy stiffened, unbelieving that Methos would even think of such a thing.

"EEEEEEEEEEE! CONNOR! DUNCAN!"

Down below, lahoffy's screams were heard by all.

hayden
May 16, 2002

The ruckus downstairs was just subsiding when the ruckus upstairs began. Everyone rushed upstairs to see what was wrong. (Well, k'lynn floated.)

The ladies and the immortals burst into the room to find lahoffy standing over the old man. She was so stupefied that her words poured quickly from her mouth, "He says he gets to name the kittens and he wants to name them after the 7 dwarfs and he wants to name one sleazy and his face is blue!!!!!!"

"You painted my face. You must have wanted to experience my alter ego," he smirked.

"I don't like the look on his face," MacNair whispered as she moved up to comfort lahoffy.

The imortals and CDCers stood in silence trying to decide whom they were dealing with Adam, Methos, ROG, or Death. Suddenly a small voice was heard from the crowd. "They're my kitties. I should name them. No Sleazy. Dopey? ... . He took my ladder"

"His face is blue."

"He's been behind most of what happened today," Connor placed himself between lahoffy, MacNair, and the old man."

"He has been acting strange all day."

"He's the one who sent me to look at lahoffy's bike."

"He took my ladder"

Suddenly the voice of reason was heard from the corner chair. "Methos you've obviously been stirring the pot around here all day, why?" Joe demanded.

"I was bored."

~Finis~

This is the round robin that wouldn't die and continued for 14 days straight and involved nearly every member of the CDC Clan in the process.