Vidalia Visits the CDC Compound

 

 

Disclaimer:  The characters of Methos, Richie Ryan, Connor MacLeod, and Duncan MacLeod belong to DPP. These stories are for entertainment only; there is no profit involved.

Anchor links to individual stories:

Ants In The Pants
The Sheep Story Adult Themes
Og's St. Patrick's Day Story
CDC ABC--March 29, 2003
Wild Thing
Denise's Chocolates Language
If Anyone Looked
Seasoned Immortals Adult Themes
The Dog Days of Summer

Vidalia Visits the CDC Compound

"Duncan, would you *please* stop that infernal pacing?!?" lahoffy said, as Duncan passed through the library yet again. It was the 6th time in the last half-hour and she was getting dizzy.

"What exactly are you doing, Duncan?" Denise asked curiously.

"Looking. Keeping watch. Somebody has to," he muttered, casting an angry glare towards the other three immortals that were engaged in a rousing game of "catch the whisky from the super-soaker."

"Watch for what? Look for what?" asked sheeza from her position out of the line of fire near the fireplace.

"We had an intruder the other night, remember? What happens if she comes back? The damned perimeter alarm didn't even go off! We have no idea who she is; she could be a thief or worse! We don't even know what she-"

Lahoffy snorted and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, some threat. She left prezzies, for heaven's sake!! What kind of thief leaves prezzies?"

"That's not the point! She was leering over Connor--"

At this statement, the group in the library collapsed into hysterical fits of laughter. Duncan stood impatiently waiting for them to get themselves under some form of control again.

It took a while.

MacNair, still wheezing with laughter, peered at the younger Highlander with a glint in her eye. "Duncan, my dear, she's not the first or only one to leer over Connor!"

"While he was sleeping??" he asked outraged.

Connor smirked and glanced around at the girls. "Raise your hands if any of you have done that before."

A slew of hands shot into the air.

"See, Mac, not a big deal." Richie said, slightly slurring his words. He'd been cheating and firing his super soaker his way more than at the others.

"That is beside the point. We don't know her, she could be in league with-"

Impatiently, lahoffy interrupted the Scot again. "Did she have a sword?"

"No, but-"

"Did she have a gun?"

"Not that I saw, still--"

"Did she have any kind of weapon at all?" lahoffy demanded.

"That's NOT the point!" Duncan exclaimed, losing his temper slightly that no one else seemed the slightest bit worried about this intruder.

Methos swallowed his latest mouthful and leveled his gaze upon Duncan. "Mac, quit being such a Boy Scout. What happened? Nothing. An unarmed woman bearing gifts arrives and this sends you into a tailspin? Relax, no one else is worried and no harm came to your kinsman."

MacNair held up her present. "Besides, look what she left me, anyone who would go to this much trouble and leave such thoughtful gifts can only be someone we want to know better."

Duncan sighed heavily. No one was listening and furthermore no one seemed to care.

"I'm just saying--"

"Wow. Does anyone else see that?" Richie asked, pointing out the window.

Everyone scrambled to see what Richie was pointing at. Outside on the vast front lawn, a faint blue light appeared, shimmering softly in the night.

"She's back." Duncan stated flatly as he turned and ran out the door.

"Duncan, wait!!" shouted Connor after his kinsman. It was too late, Duncan was gone. Connor swore under his breath at the impulsiveness of his cousin. "We'd better get out there before he scares the living daylights out of the lass."

Methos shook his head. "Not a good idea for all of us to go racing out there, one angry Highlander is enough to set anyone's nerves on edge, throw in a gaggle of shrieking women and..."

"Shrieking women?" the CDC'ers questioned threateningly.

Methos merely tilted his head and cocked an eyebrow.

The girls subsided. It was true.

Connor pointed at lahoffy and MacNair. "You two, follow him and try to keep him from frightening the girl to death. The rest of us will follow shortly."

"Does this mean I can use my halo if he gets out of hand?" lahoffy asked hopefully.


Vidalia stood on the lawn, gazing up at the compound. She'd taken a chance that perhaps the occupants of the house would be sleeping, but the lights shining from several windows told her some were still awake. She took a few cautious steps forward, figuring she could find a place somewhere in this vast expanse to hide and wait for a while.

The sound of a slamming door and running footsteps brought her attention back towards the house. She could just make out the dim silhouette of a tall man heading rapidly in her direction. The door slammed again and two more figures emerged from the house also running.

She squeaked in alarm, turning back to her portal only to watch it disappear.

Panicked and with her heart racing, Vidalia wavered, wondering what she was going to do now. She was out in the open, the nearest cover a thick forest of trees a fair distance away. Even if she could make it there before the man bearing down on her got any closer, the frightful sounds of several orcs told her that wouldn't be a good place to hide.

Orcs? she thought distractedly, why are there orcs here? Who would deliberately plant orcs... She shook her herself mentally. This was sooo not the time to wonder about THOSE creatures, not with that angry sounding Highlander now only a few yards away. She planted her feet, preparing to attempt a running escape.

"Hey you! Stop right there! Who are you and-"

He never finished his sentence, there was a sudden z-i-n-g-ing noise accompanied by a shouted warning to duck.

Vidalia's mother hadn't raised a fool, instinct kicked in and she dropped like a rock to lay flat on the ground, hands covering her head.

Duncan, however, wasn't so lucky. With a muffled thud, the flat edge of the halo caught him in the middle of the back, sending him tumbling to the ground with a mighty thud.

"Ooo! Good shot, lahoffy!" crowed MacNair.

The two clansibs stood on either side of the prostrate stranger, ignoring the muffled Gaelic cursing behind them.

"It's ok, it's safe now, you can get up."

Vidalia peeked through her fingers, surprised and pleased at the friendly tone of the voices above her. "Hi." she managed to squeak out.

"Hi yourself. What are you doing sneaking around out here? Why didn't you come on in?" asked lahoffy as she frowned at the dent in her halo.

"I didn't want to intrude, I was hoping I could sneak in and out without you knowing I was here. I wanted a chance to get to know everyone before-"

"That's just plain silly!" exclaimed MacNair, "How are you going to get to know anyone if you don't introduce yourself? I'm MacNair, by the way, the one with the dangerous halo is lahoffy and that irritated Highlander over there is Duncan."

"I'm Vidalia. Umm...shouldn't you see if Duncan's ok?"

"Nah, he's fine, can't you tell by that cursing?" lahoffy giggled. "Sides, I'll make it up to him later, when he's had time to cool off."

More footsteps sounded and Vidalia looked around to find herself surrounded by a gaggle of women and three very handsome men. She hoped she wouldn't embarrass herself by drooling uncontrollably.

Connor bent down eye level with the newcomer. "Sorry for the reception my cousin gave you. I hope he didn't frighten you too much." he said in a warm, raspy voice that left Vidalia's toes curled. "Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod and you would be...?"

Somewhere in the dim recesses of her mind, Vidalia wondered when she'd lost the power of speech. Those EYES! she shrieked inwardly.

A sigh of impatience sounded from somewhere. "Connor! Turn the eyes off or she'll become just another puddle of goo."

Connor chuckled and held out his hand to help the stranger up. Hesitantly, she placed her hand in his, allowing him to pull her to her feet. At least I remember how to stand!

The girls surrounded the newcomer, introducing themselves and doing their best to put her at her ease. They were eager to find out the secrets of this new visitor and chattered on like magpies, barely letting her get a word in edgewise. Someone finally remembered that the other two immortals hadn't been introduced and set about to correct that oversight.

"That's Methos, watch out for him, he likes to tell stories about the old days-"

"Yeah, the REALLY old days, like before the wheel was invented!" chimed in Denise.

"Hey! I'm not THAT old!" groused the old guy in question.

"And don't leave food unattended around Richie, it'll be gone in a blink of an eye!"

"Geesh! Eat one plate of chocolate chip cookies and they never let you live it down." muttered the boy wonder.

"It wasn't a plate, it was a PLATTER!"

The joking continued as the group made their way back to the house, towing the newcomer with them in their wake. All except for two. The disgruntled Scot and Methos.

"Still out of sorts?" queried Methos.

Duncan grumbled a bit, as he rolled his shoulders to try and relieve the slight ache left from that damnable halo. "Overreacted again, didn't I?" he said bemusedly.

"Not the first time, won't be the last."

Duncan cut his eyes at the ancient immortal, glaring for a second. "Hmph. She seems harmless enough."

Methos laughed. "As did all the rest of them in the beginning."

Duncan chuckled, his good mood slowly being restored. He sobered again for a moment. "I was just trying to protect the clan."

Methos hauled the Scot to his feet, gazing thoughtfully at the man. "It's what you do best."

Silence fell for a moment, before Methos rubbed his hands together for warmth from the chill of the night.

"Shall we get back inside? I hear a warm fire and more whisky calling my name."

Laughing, the two strolled toward the house, looking forward to getting to know this new visitor to the compound

lahoffyCDC
March 7, 2003

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Ants In The Pants

The tap on the attic door was timid at best. Great heavens, Methos thought, who is knocking? The CDC ladies rarely knocked, their methods leaned more towards erupting into a room and spewing forth mayhem and general chaos, bless their bones.

Curiosity over ruled his caution and he opened the door. Ha, Vidalia, he thought, harmless visitor, not that he was making any judgments, she looked sweet enough, on the quiet side but clever. He had spotted her infiltration into the compound a few nights ago; actually it had been he who had dropped the hint in younger Highlander's ear that some strange woman had been leering at his sleeping kinsmen.

The pandemonium that had ensued had been an amusing diversion and having a convenient excuse to rile the younger MacLeod was always a plus. So, the guest was here to check him out? The evening was looking up, he thought smugly.

"Uh, hmmm.... I'd," she seemed to be unable to complete sentences at the moment.

Methos was intrigued it had been a while since he had a woman speechless, well at least a day or two.

Hiding his amusement at her obvious discomfort, Methos smiled gently down at her flushed face. She was looking confused and a bit distressed, he mused, as if she weren't sure exactly what to do about him.

"Hi, Vidalia, welcome to the attic," he replied conversationally.

"Hi, uhmmmm, I'm Vidalia and MacNair lured me here with chocolate." She blurted out and immediately blushed beet red to the roots of her hair.

"Would you like to come in?" he asked carefully controlling his urge to laugh out loud.

Nodding her head to the affirmative she moved into the room and Methos closed the door behind her and, as a precaution, turned the dead bolt until it clicked in place. The CDC ladies probably have their senses heightened already if they knew she was here. The first night Vidalia hadn't been able to get a word in edgewise. A little uninterrupted time was all he needed to get to know all her secrets he grinned to himself egotistically.

Methos turned to see Vidalia gazing around the attic and its eclectic disarray. "If I known you were coming...I'd..." he began.

Looking up into his face with an elfin grin, "No it reminds me of my office. Except for the toy soldiers," she answered honestly, "and besides I like chaos."

Sense of humor thought Methos, he could work with that. He noticed she carried the same backpack as she had the night she first broke into the compound.

"What's in the backpack?" He questioned casually, almost too casually.

Vidalia gave him a look that indicated she knew exactly what he was hoping was in the backpack. Teasingly she sat the pack on the cluttered table and slowly unzipped the long zipper. Methos groaned at her attempt to torture him, please, please, please he mentally chanted, beer, and beer, let there be beer.

Vidalia made a great show of rummaging through the pack before she finally lifted out the cold pack holding the four pack of Guinness. With a devilish grin she tossed it over to Methos who caught it in all reverence that a good brew should be met with.

"There's more." She laughed when he looked as if he were going to lay claim to the entire four pack.

Good girl, he thought, and opened a bottle with enthusiasm and downed a goodly portion.

Vidalia had turned back to her backpack and was again rummaging through its mysterious contents.

Methos took the beer to the lounger and slouched and slumped until he found his most comfortable position and sighed greatly into comfort. When he glanced back at Vidalia she had obviously found what she had been looking for and was walking around the attic carefully scrutinizing each nook and cranny as well as turning over the mirrors and peering behind them.

It took Methos a moment to decipher that she was looking for the security cameras! Now what was she up to? he wondered. Well. He mused, the girl couldn't be all that bad, she had brought beer!

Her excited squeak brought his attention back to her. She had located the first of the three security cameras and was grinning up into it like a monkey.

"Sorry ladies. Connor, Duncan, and *hey* Richie, save me a sandwich--I'll be hungry later," she mouthed at the camera lens as it gradually rotated towards her face. With a huge smirk she removed the tube of washable non-toxic finger paint; applying a small amount to the ends of her fingers she slowly covered the entire surface of the security camera's lens with the blue green paint. Quickly she discovered the others and they received the same treatment. Moving to the computer desk she deftly switched off the monitor for good measure.

That was going to tweak the younger Highlander's ponytail quite properly, Methos thought. Good going--the girl was getting the hang of pulling Duncan's chain. Methos wondered if she was woman enough to take her punishment when the Highlander decided to retaliate for her impishness? Now *that* would be an interesting turn of events and Methos couldn't wait.


Methos, already into his third beer, watched her with some consideration. Using the toe of one foot she kicked off one white Reebok and it landed in the corner. The other followed it almost immediately. Next she was tugging her sweat shirt over her head to reveal a white sleeveless mock turtle neck. She threw that in the corner, too. Reaching into her pack once more she removed an object Methos was sure he had never seen before. Swinging it back and forth slowly on the tips of her fingers Vidalia approached Methos with a smile of pure deviltry on her cute face.

"Methos..... Would you like to play a game?" She purred.


"Damnation and hell fire," the tall dark Scot shouted as the monitor before him went entirely an interesting shade of blue green. The anger in his voice carried through out the main house alerting his clansman to his obvious distress. Connor MacLeod wandered unhurriedly into the room where his kinsman was cursing soundly in three different languages. "Damn it! First she can get into the compound without setting off the perimeter alarms and now she's locked in the attic with Methos and she's disabled all my security cameras and the audio as well!"

Connor smiled at Duncan's concern for Methos. "Duncan, Methos is 5000 years old and Vidalia's a mortal woman who just happens to care about us all. He's in no danger from her, she on the other hand...." The older Scot let his voice drift.

Duncan turned a wary brow towards his cousin "You don't think Methos would harm her in any way? I mean she's not clan...but..?"

"I think we give them an hour then we check on them. After all it was Methos who locked the door right?" Answered the older man sagely trying to reassure Duncan's misgivings.

"One hour, no more. Then I'm breaking down the attic door!" Duncan grumbled.

One hour later a great thud sounded from the attic accompanied by muffled sounds that sounded a lot like moans of pain. A second and third followed in secession with more muffled groans.

Duncan grabbed his katana had rushed to the stairs to the attic followed by Connor, Richie and the CDC ladies. "I don't care what you say Connor I'm going in." Duncan threw back over his shoulder as he raced up the steps.

Connor grabbed his clansman's shoulder just before he started chopping away at the thick wooden door. The noise from the attic had ceased and was replaced by voices. The Highlanders leaned in close to place their ears against the door straining to hear more...

The CDC ladies had grown very quiet which was not a good thing at the best of times...carefully they all listened...their eyes growing round with amazement!

"bubb lowb mnsolod"

"No... No... No... Methos you have to keep it in your mouth until you hit the mark."

"mhmmm buba bubal da bub," came the muffled reply.

"Methos, you're five thousand years old and you're acting like you've never done this. Now concentrate and adjust your aim." Vidalia answered encouragingly.

"Butta unmmba hemhummmm snort," came the rather caustic mumbled reply.

"Well, that's uncalled for; I was just trying to help!" Vidalia replied miffed. "Here, shift your leg that way and try again! No, not sideways--just straight ahead, man, straight ahead!" Vidalia urged a trifle impatiently.

Meanwhile in the hallway outside the attic door....

The Highlanders, Richie, and the CDC ladies were beyond help! They were rolling on the floor laughing their collective hineys off!

The resounding crash from the attic stopped their laughter and Duncan kicked the door in. For a moment everyone was frozen in time at the scene that greeted his or her eyes.

In the middle of the attic was Methos' favorite chair lying on its back. Protruding up in the air were two sets of feet, one bare Methos set and one covered with pink and white toe socks. Vidalia? The floor around the chair was littered with Guinness cans and small plastic red and blue ants. Giggles, guffaws, snickers and snorts were issuing from the over turned chair

"Shssssss, I think somebody's at the door." Vidalia cautioned in a voice that sounded as if she had also been a participant in the beer consumption.

The stunned observers from the hallway watched as two heads appeared from the chaos that had been Methos' chair. Slowly they emerged peering at their stunned audience with some confusion.

Vidalia was wearing Methos' ball cap at a jaunty angle and Methos arose with a strange expression on his face. Vidalia reached behind him and applied a resounding whack to his back, his mouth open and he spit out a blue plastic ant.

Vidalia spoke first, "Hi guys, did we get loud? I was teaching Methos' how to play ants in the pants." She announced with a dignity only the very drunk have.

Utter pandemonium broke out over the doorway crew. Shrieks of laughter, screeches and howls filled the compound that night. After everyone had gotten himself or herself under control (which took a considerable while) to their surprise, the two culprits had fallen asleep curled together like puppies in a basket.

Duncan walked over to the sleeping forms and gently covered them with the afghan. Connor joined Duncan and stared down at the sleeping Methos who had an amazingly satisfied smile curled about his sleeping lips. On an impulse the younger Highlander turned to Connor and asked, "Think she'll teach me this game?"

"Only after she's taught me, brother, only after she's taught me."

Clasping his kinsmen's arm the two Highlanders made their way back to Richie and the waiting ladies quietly closing the door behind them.

Vidalia opened her eyes and looked into a very serious pair of Methos' eyes. "Think they bought it?" She asked innocently.

"No," he grinned wickedly.

"No?" she inquired eyebrows rising.

"No, I'm absolutely sure they did." With that he pulled Vidalia more firmly against him and proceeded to show her his version of the game of ants in the pants.

~The End~
Vidalia
Mar 10 2003

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The Sheep Story

Duncan crept cautiously through the main hall of the house. If he was lucky, he might make it out to the garage without being seen and get this stupid errand over with...

"Hey, Mac, whatcha doing?" Rich suddenly asked from behind him. He jumped round quickly, careful to keep his hand behind his back, and tried for nonchalance.

"Just going out to the garden for some air." Oops, he'd said that a bit fast. Maybe Rich wouldn't have noticed... no, he was looking distinctly skeptical.

"Just some air, huh? So what's that behind your back?"

Damn. The trouble with having so many mayhem makers (though he loved them all dearly) was that now any slightly furtive behavior tended to rouse intense suspicion. Not that he'd been furtive, of course. Just quiet. And careful.

"Nothing." Though apparently not careful enough.

"Come on, I can see it's not nothing or you wouldn't be hiding it. Let me see..."

Duncan dodged quickly out of the way as Rich made a grab for his arm, managing to keep from turning his back with some quick footwork as they danced about the hall. This was all going horribly wrong. And when had Rich got so good at stealth anyway? That wasn't fair. The door had been so close!

But he should still make it OK if he was quick and at least it was only Rich. The thought had barely crossed his mind when he felt the object he was trying so hard to hide plucked neatly from his grasp. He froze for a second, then turned slowly, desperately praying. *Please be Connor, please be Connor*.

Oh.

There is no God.

Either that or He has a really warped sense of humor. Because it wasn't Connor, but Methos who stood there, gazing blankly down at the cuddly toy sheep in his hands as it stared back with typical sheeply befuddlement.

Methos looked up slowly, taking in Duncan's frozen panic and embarrassment and Rich's look of astonishment, and his eyes gradually filled with an unholy glee.

If this was a nightmare, Duncan would really like to wake up now.

The tableau continued for another second before Rich broke the silence.

"That was what you were hiding? A toy sheep?"

Methos shook his head at him wisely.

"Ah, Rich, don't you know you should never to try and separate a Scotsman and his sheep?"

Duncan winced. This was going to be bad. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, regaining the use of his vocal cords at last.

"Nothing MacLeod, just warning Rich how possessive Highlanders can get over their livestock. After all, didn't sheeprustling start several of the Clan wars?"

"Well, yes, but... anyway, this isn't my livestock." Maybe if he made it clear why he had a sheep this would stop here before Methos started to really have fun. And the explanation, though slightly embarrassing, would surely be less painful than anything the Old Man came up with. But before he could find a way to begin, Rich butted in.

"You went to war over a SHEEP?"

"No, not a sheep, over flocks of sheep."

"Well, obviously that's completely reasonable..."

"It is if the flock of sheep is your livelihood and the one of the things you're counting on to keep your family alive during the winter and some bastard Fraser is trying to make off with it!"

"Whoa, Mac. Relax. I didn't know sheep were something you felt so strongly about."

Mac groaned internally. Comments like that were a red rag to a bull around certain annoying ancients. Better try and keep the conversation on history and culture. "I don't, I was just pointing out..." But Methos interrupted again.

"You mean you've never heard him waxing lyrical about the happy days he spent guarding the flocks? Lucky sod. Though I thought you would have guessed - after all everyone knows Scotsmen have strong feelings for sheep."

Oh, Lord. This was it. Even Rich couldn't fail to get the meaning behind that emphasis and the accompanying eyebrow waggle.

"Oh man! You mean..." Yes, here it came.

"Methos." he growled warningly, and made a feint for the sheep, as the young Immortal's eyes widened in comprehension and delight. But Methos evaded him easily and kept talking, dodging behind the now grinning Rich.

"Oh yes. Just what you're thinking. Hey, do you know the difference between a Scottish sheepfarmer and the Rolling Stones?"

"Nope, Old Man, what's the difference?"

"The Rolling Stones say 'Hey you get off my cloud' and the Scottish sheep farmer says 'Hey MacLeod, get off my ewe'!"

"Oh, shut up!" Duncan snapped, making another attempt at retrieval as Rich howled with laughter, and missing again.

Oh for crying out loud, the sneaky bastard had thrown it to Rich!

"Though I suppose we shouldn't mock. All those lonely nights on the hills with only the animals for company. I suppose it's understandable really...and Duncan did seem to remember it so fondly."

"METHOS!" Maybe if he went that way he could get it... damn, now Methos had it again.

"Especially of a particular ewe – Bessie wasn't it?"

Rich promptly collapsed on the floor, laughing so hard he cried, as outrage pinned Duncan to the spot.

That was it! Methos was going down!

"Give me back my sheep!" he yelled, lunging forward only to trip and fall flat on his face as Methos threw the toy at his feet and legged it out the door.

After a few deep breaths he sat up and dusted off the fluffy thing, glaring at Rich who by now had been reduced to hiccuping in the corner. When he got his hands on that old pain in the ass he was going to kill him! A lot! In several painful ways...

Just as he was planning the first way, Methos stuck his head back round the door with the most evil grin Duncan had ever seen.

"BAAAAAAAAAAAA!" he yelled.

And vanished again, as Duncan sprinted after him, sheep clutched firmly in one hand and swearing furiously in Gaelic.


Epilogue – two days later

Duncan gazed out of the window in horror, then closed his eyes. It couldn't be real. He was just hallucinating because of that business with Methos and Rich, and he'd probably eaten too much cheese at lunch.

He'd just about convinced himself (though he was careful to avoid the window) when Connor wandered into his room looking confused.

"What's up?"

"Duncan, did you order a flock of sheep?"

Oh no. No, no, no. He'd been so relieved that no one had brought the incident the other day up again, but he should have known Methos wouldn't let it go that easily.

"No. Why?"

"Because there's a man out there putting one in our fields and he says they belong to you."

Duncan groaned and let his head sink into his hands.

It was real. A real live flock of sheep. He was never going to live this down.

And they were probably all called Bessie...


(And before you ask, I have no idea why Duncan was sneaking around the compound with a toy sheep. The stubborn ****ing Scot won't tell me. Though given the comment he dropped about the garage, I'm assuming my twin was involved! Feel free to try and get it out of him, anyone.)

JanneCDC
Mar 11, 2003

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Og's St. Patrick's Day Story

"My Pot O' Gold!!! I left it right here, in this very spot, and now 'tis gone! Completely disappeared! 'Tisn't right to be stealin' a leprechaun's gold, when he worked so hard to steal it himself."

*sniff* *sniff*

"I be smellin' immortals afoot, and mortals, too, lady mortals at that. And what's that? A delicate scent of ... mothballs! A closet creature! My worst nightmare!"

*sniff* sniff*

"What is this place? It smells of immortals brave and womanly wiles and, yes, that closet creature as well. I know my gold must be concealed here someplace. Oh lookee there! The ladies are cavortin' in the meadow, enjoying the first signs of spring. I'll be searchin' the house, then, and they won't even know I've been here."

*sniff* *sniff*

"Ah, it may not be my pot of gold - but golden 'tis!..."

Methos entered the kitchen, thirsty after his morning ride. After operating his beer dispenser with hardly a thought, he lifted the mug to his lips.

The howl was heard throughout the house. "What the hell happened to my beer??? It's GREEN!"


Og searched high and low, from attic to cellar, enjoying a wee dram or two of the whiskey he found there below. "Whisky," the redheaded immortal slurred in the corner, "not whiskey. Don' let MacLeod hear you call it whiskey. um um, nah ah."

"Sleep, lad. You'll be right as rain in the mornin'."

There was only one place left to search, but Og thought the locks were too obvious. They wouldn't have hidden it there, in the closet with all the locks would they?

The leprechaun sniffed at the door, and could smell the closet creature, and heard the tell-tale childish singing.

"...green ally-gadors n lawn nekkid geez, sum hum-dee back kamls and sum chimpansies ..." A fearful howlin from within set Og back on his heels, but then he could hear the giggling and the clapping hands. "U so funi, Connie!"

He sniffed at the bottom of the door and got a snootful of glitter and he sneezed. "Lucky, go outside and play!" a voice ordered.

"Lucki, cum insyd n play!" The doorknob rattled, and Og took off. If they caught him, he'd have to give them more of his treasure, and that wasn't likely to happen if he could be helpin' it!


Duncan promised the Clan a traditional St. Patrick's Day meal for lunch, and he began pulling the ingredients together for a pasta meal.

Methos, leaning against the counter top, waved the mug of green beer in his direction. "Pasta? It's supposed to be Irish, not Italian."

"I didn't say Irish, I said St. Paddy's day," MacLeod reached for the green food coloring.

"Aha! You are the culprit!"

"I didn't touch your beer, Methos, I didn't have a chance before someone else beat me too it."

"It's a dirty trick," Methos sighed, "but hardly unexpected. I'll be out watching the girls. Have you seen the others recently?"

"Connor's with k'lynn, and I haven't seen Richie for a while. He'll turn up. Maybe he's trying to wash the green food coloring from his fingers."

"If he's wise, then he'll stay out of my way until all evidence is gone."

"Hmmm." Duncan was already beginning the meal, and had no thought for Methos and his revenge.

The Highlander squeezed food coloring into the Alfredo sauce, and added some to the water for the pasta. The green garlic butter had already been spread on the bread that was gently toasting in the oven.

Not satisfied with the color, he prepared to squeeze another drop or two into the sauce when an object was stuck in the small of his back. Green food coloring went everywhere!

"What the...!?!"

"I'll be askin' ya ta be returnin' me gold, laddie."

"Fitz?" No, couldn't be, he would have felt him. "Who are you?"

"That'd be no business of yours. I just want my gold back, and then I'll go away. That's quite a mess ya made there, boyo!"

"And it'll take all day to get the green out, you daft bugger! I don't have your gold."

"Someone here does, I could smell the lot of you. Even that closet creature!"

"k'lynn? Wait here."

A minute later, Duncan returned, and handed the leprechaun the pot of gold he had been seeking. "Here it is, now work some magic and get the green off the counter top."

"Magic? I'm a leprechaun, not a magician. Call Merry Maids!" And he fled with his treasure.

Duncan began scrubbing, but instead of getting rid of the stain, it seemed to spread.

and spread...

and spread...

a voice crackled over the intercom.

A very Irish voice.

"In keepin' with the 'onorable tradition of St.Paddy's day, I've taken the liberty of decoratin' your board. Interest on the gold, you might be sayin'. Top of the morning to ya!"

"And the rest of the day to yourself!" Duncan muttered.

Og
Sun Mar 16 2003

Top



CDC ABC--March 29, 2003

hayden

A shirtless Duncan wiped the sweat from his brow as he paused in his task of taming the spring ground. His muscles flexed and gleamed in the sun has he bent to restart the massive piece of iron commonly called a tiller.

Methos and Connor reclined under an oak watching the show of the ladies drooling over the shirtless Highlander, knowing he was loving every moment of their attention.

"So tell me again why he does this? Besides all the attention that is ... come SEPTEMBER most of what he plants now will be fading."

MacNair

"Because the girls *love* it so," announced Connor. "They drool and oooh and awww with every move he makes." He took a swig from the brew he was currently sharing with the ROG. "We just sit back and let him do all the work and prep--then get to help take care of all these hormone-driven girls!"

pacem

"Come on, give me a hand," Duncan grunted to the immobile immortal audience. "The girls love us dirty and sweaty. It's fun and invigorating ... very, very sexy!"

"No thanks, Tom Sawyer" drawled Methos "I like my brew in the shade, thank you."

Denise

"Don't even think that will work with me," Connor warned. "You'll be all tired and tuckered and the old man and I will have to pick up your slack." He tugged at the bottle in Methos hand only to find lanky butt had switched it to the far side.

hayden

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yelled the ladies as Duncan bent over to pickup a SIX pack of petunias

MacNair

"For crying out loud, Duncan?" shouted Methos, grabbing his head. "Quit using petunias as an excuse to waggle your pants!"

pacem

"Get a grip, old man!" Richie yelled from the kitchen window, "Can't you see what this is doing to the CDCers and friends?" He pointed to the mesmerized ladies and laughed!

Denise

Hunkering down to plant the flowers, Duncan ignored his fellow immortals. He recalled the old children's book about the Little Red Hen that did all the work and none of the other animals helped, but they all wanted to have some of the bread. He smiled. He wasn't sure he was up handling all the CDC sibs and friends, but he wouldn't mind trying.

hayden

"I think he's getting that look on his face," a worried Connor frowned. He counted on Duncan sharing the ladies and doing the work, however it was evident his cousin was thinking differently. "Old man, I think we better plant a few flowers or Duncan is going to have all the good women tonight!"

MacNair

"Just you watch," smugly announced Methos. Whereupon he rose, put down his beer carefully, and strode determinedly out into the flower bed ... stepped on the hoe that Duncan had left out and S-SMACKED it into his face with enough force to knock himself down!

pacem

KKKerr-plunck!!! The ROG was down for the count ... and as he fell the carefully place beer can went flying toward the moat! Everyone watched~~speechless and helpless~~as the aluminum missile headed straight for Puff, bounced once on his nose and then in an instant he snarfed the entire contents down in one big gulp!

*burp!*

Denise

"Lordy," Denise exclaimed, her attention finally torn from Duncan. Her eyes slanted suspiciously at Connor. "You haven't been lacing his brew again have you? If you have, Methos will recover--but I'm not sure about Puff or us."

lahoffy

Many ancient curses filled the air around Methos, and for variety's sake, he even tossed in some modern ones! "Doesn't anyone CARE that I'm hurt?!?" he pouted.

MacNair

"Never mind that I can't see, that my nose is broken, that I have a freight train in my head," the ROG continued to lament, holding both hands over his face. "I'm not the hero, or the one with the funny accent from "nowhere and everywhere"--I'm just the fossil around here!" He peered surreptitiously through two fingers to see if his litany was working and was gratified to see various CDC faces filled with shock and dismay. Now, they're paying attention.

pacem

"Oh no!" Connor just shook his head at the "fossil's" theatrics. "Your nose is already healing, the freight train is probably from the beer, and you just plain talk funny," Connor muttered under his breath.

Denise

"Please," Duncan demanded, "get off the petunias." There was a loud belch from Puff's way and Methos hurriedly scrambled for what he hoped would be out of the dragons way.

lahoffy

"Quit your bellyaching, old man," Richie said, "you know the girls will notice us when they're good and ready. Have another beer."

MacNair

"Rotton immortals," Methos said to every one present. "You ruined my fake job! Have you NO sense?" He glared at Connor and then Richie. "First you get hurt, then you get comforted! Didn't you GET it?"

pacem

"Shhhhhhhhhh......do you hear that?" Connor held up his hand and commanded silence. Everyone stopped and listened to the frightening rumbles steadily growing louder and louder and,louder! As all eyes turned toward the moat poor Puff let out a bellowing ball of fire and indigestion.

*hiccup* he said when it was all over and the CDCers and friends all ran to the dear ailing dragon to offer solace and comfort.

Denise

"To bad you were upstaged by a moat dweller," Connor taunted Methos, watching the girls cuddle and pet the creature. "You're losing your touch, next thing you know Richie will be getting your share of attention."

lahoffy

"Uh-uh!" Methos muttered in protest. "Not if I can help it. I haven't lived 5000 years without learning a few tricks for gaining female attention."

MacNair "Vertigo," the ROG said, his face blank. "I think my cervical spine is mishealed." He said it so clinically, in Doctor's tone, that even Duncan stood straighter and strode nearer. "I don't feel very good," he added, letting himself waver on his feet. Duncan's expression turned to dismay...

lahoffy

"Watch and learn," the old guy whispered to Connor. Without warning, Methos suddenly dropped bonelessly to the ground. (In much the same way that he could bonelessly sprawl in chairs, Connor noted.)

MacNair [Who was SERIOUSLY confuzzled and restarted at letter U!?]

"Uuhh-hh-hhhhhh," he moaned, flopping his hands uselessly on the ground. He could feel the earth rumble with the herd, pack, flock, gaggle, armada of CDCers that were converging on his position! This is *EXACTLY* what I wanted! Just you watch, you Highlander-types! he thought smugly.

lahoffy

Various CDC'ers knelt around the ROG, smoothing his hair back, patting gently along his body for possible injuries, laying cool hands against his forehead to take his temperature and murmuring soothing words. Much better he thought, Perhaps I can even con that backhoe key away from hayden if I play my cards right. With that thought he let out another dramatic moan.

MacNair

"What do you want to bet that this is a fake?" questioned Connor sidelong to his kinsman. Duncan looked properly aghast ... then suspicious. "I'll bet you a case of Wikkid Ale that this is just a ploy to get the girls attention!" announced Connor, melodramatically.

lahoffy

"X" usually marks the spot on a treasure map, but the wicked glare that Methos shot in Connor's direction hit the spot as well. Connor chuckled as a few of the CDC'ers realized that they'd forgotten about immortal's quick healing abilities and their expressions turned from "Ooo, poor baby" mode to "kill the old guy mode."

MacNair

"You're faking it!" growled one girl, her fingers twisted in Methos' cotton shirt. "You've been faking it all along?!" She twisted harder, and Methos' eyes darted about. "You've been fishing for attention the whole time?"

lahoffy

Zebras have stripes, cheetahs have spots, but neither one of them could beat the old guy when it came to camouflage and deception.

"Some of us don't have the body beautiful or the intense eyes to gain the attention of such lovely ladies as yourself," the ROG said as he gestured towards the two Highlanders. "Is it really so wrong to fake injury just to gain a small bit of female companionship?"

Smiling without smirking, he gazed levelly at the one holding his shirt hostage. He felt the grip loosen just slightly as she considered his words. Inwardly, he smirked. Maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to talk my way out of this.

Duncan snorted. "You're not buying that innocent act, are you? It's just another trick to get out of his well deserved punishment."

The grip tightened again. "Yes, I'd say he does deserve to be punished, doesn't he?" She looked around at her clansibs and at a nod, they all converged on the ROG and as one, picked the old guy up and tossed him into the pool.

"And when you're dry...there's still more planting to do," another girl announced as they all walked off in a huff.

"And NO beer!" tossed out another one as she picked up the cooler.

Methos stared sorrowfully at the departing beer and wondered just where his plan had gone wrong. The laughter from the two Highlanders reached his ears and he turned to glare at them as he hauled himself out to stand dripping and bedraggled. "Next time, remind me NOT to attempt this with you two boy scouts around!"

~finis~

MacNair places blame for repeating part of the alphabet squarely on Methos, who MUST have spiked her drink while she was typing, laughing, editing, par-TAYING!

...ever notice how hayden starts these things and then leaves? >giggle<

Top



Wild Thing

"Please, oh please, oh please, Methos--you've got to help us" several CDCers and friends pleaded with the lounging elder lazily sun-bathing next to the pool.

They held out a smallish box lined with a sky blue baby blanket of the softest fleece. Snuggled in the folds of the bedding was a tiny, sleeping, infant orc peacefully sucking its thumb. Words tumbled and swirled around the indifferent immortal, growing more insistent and passionate: "We found it abandoned...how could anyone do such a thing ....its cries were so feeble....it was hungry and cold and all alone .......we couldn't just leave it there.......something had to be done!"

Methos took a second look at the creature and just shook his head. "You have completely lost your collective minds." he said. "You can't keep it. You can't feed it. You can't...."

"Awwww, Methos, look. It's so cute." The girls said together as the little critter squeaked and stretched in its sleep, totally oblivious to the ruckus around it.

Methos sighed, sprawled back down in the lawn chair, and proceeded to ignore the whole preposterous notion of adopting and raising an orc.

Perhaps that should read he attempted to ignore....

The girls were unrelenting in their pleas and questions. What can we feed it? Should we keep it in the dark? What can we do about this smell? It's so tiny and helpless. Come on Methos, you have been around for five thousand years; surely you can give us some advice on the care and feeding of baby orcs.

The ladies cajoled and teased and stroked his biceps and kissed his nose and ruffled his hair.

Methos, acting amused and immune, just rolled his eyes and sighed. At least that was the façade he was exhibiting for the girls.

"Okay," he sat upright and looked narrowly at the clan sibs before him. "I do this for you and you help me get the key to the backhoe." At that, he turned his gaze directly toward hayden, for he knew the Mistress of Mayhem was also the Keeper of the Key.

That crafty hayden never skipped a beat. She squinted right back at him and said, "Methos, you have nothing to worry about." She reached into the front of her t-shirt and pulled out a shiny key that hung on a satin ribbon around her neck. It sparkled once in the sun and then was dropped back down her shirt. She grinned.

A dubious look flitted across the immie's face but outwardly he chose to play along to see where he could go.

"Well, we will have to feed it and that will mean orc milk for a little while. We do need to keep it in the dark. The smell comes from the creature's innate evilness, but I have heard it said when an orc is raised with kindness and tenderness that the odor eventually dissipates. We will need a dark room with fans and humidifiers to reproduce an outdoor climate. Playing a cd with forest sounds might make this little one feel more comfortable at night. But the first order of business will be to milk an orc!!" He ended triumphantly.

There was a discouraged silence and then the little one turned once more in the box, dislodging its thumb but continued sucking air as all babies of all species have done for all times.

The girls all sighed in unison and it only served to reinforce their resolve to nurture this wild orphan and not one of them missed Methos' use of the first person plural in his last statement.

"Okay, milking an orc---would you say that is similar to milking cows?" MacNair, the farmer's daughter, asked.

Methos snorted.

"Well, if your cows are slavering torch bearing creatures with yellow teeth and bowed legs who inhabit the night like a bad dream, then 'yes', it is very similar."

Methos only enjoyed the descending gloom over the girls for a second and then he lifted their spirits with: "I am 5000 years old, do you not think I would have a trick or two up my sleeve? Come on, let's get started, dusk is coming and the little one will be hungry."

There was a slight problem of what to do with the baby while they went orc hunting. The girls weren't too sure what Duncan and Connor would think of this, but they figured they could wrap Richie around their fingers with chocolate chip cookies and kisses. He succumbed without a whimper and as they left him in the darkened room they could hear him softly crooning Madonna tunes to the little orc.

Methos directed the gathering of disguises and hunting paraphernalia. Everyone had a long, black, hooded cape and gloves, charcoal rubbed on their faces and the one thing guaranteed to catch, tame and milk an orc: sparklers--lots and lots of sparklers. The orcs were attracted to the light and yet immobilized by it. It was a fleeting temporary reflex, but Methos, the Master Mind, thought if they all worked quickly they could get the milk and retreat to safety.

CDCers and friends met behind the garage at sundown, checking supplies and testing lighters, each sensing and easing the others' anxieties. Methos joined them and passed around buckets which he had spray painted black.

They proceeded cautiously and quietly up the hills behind the compound. When they stood on the edge of the wilderness they could hear the terrible snarls and scuffles of the wild things, and smell the horrible stench that awaited them. Methos silently demonstrated the lighting of the sparklers and stepped courageously forward. More than one CDCer and friend thought ruefully--this must be a lot easier if you happen to be an immortal, an immortal with a big sword hidden somewhere in that secret katana space. But spurred on by an eternal and ageless call to protect and nurture the weak and defenseless and by a shared fear of being left alone in the murk and the gloom they followed their leader.

Methos held his sparkler high. He always had another ready to light as the first one fizzled out. He directed the closest CDCer, who happened to be Denise, to the paralyzed orc right at her feet. She jumped back surprised, but once she regained her composure she approached the creature with boldness, quipped softly, "Got milk?" and she proceeded to milk the orc like she was born to do it. She smiled broadly as the pale liquid squirted into the bucket and the "squinck-squinck" sound echoed through the dusky hinterlands.

The others, encouraged by their friend's bravery and success, teamed up silently and spread out to find their own prey. They were quiet and gentle and spoke softly to the unsuspecting donors. All across the hills, sparklers glittered and milk splashed merrily in buckets, but as supplies dwindled, Methos grew concerned and whistled--their predetermined signal to regroup. Just at that moment lahoffy lit her last sparkler. Unfortunately, it happened to be a dud and the orc right in front of her started writhing and grunting to life. Sheeza came up behind her, saw her predicament and immediately lit a Morning Glory-extra long sparkler, giving lahoffy time to scamper off to safety while the orc seemed to visibly deflate in the strobe-like flame.

As everyone was accounted for on the edge of orcland, a triumphant euphoria settled over the group. They happily chattered and compared milk buckets as they skipped down the mountain. Methos sauntered behind the clan with his great sword slung protectively over his shoulder.

The lights in the house twinkled invitingly as they approached, but they wondered what kind of reception they would receive when the two Scots learned of their escapades and intentions.

It was quiet as they entered the bright kitchen and they noticed the door to the living room was closed. This was very unusual. So they tiptoed over, still wearing their capes, and, with soot smeared on their faces and muck on their shoes, they listened.

They couldn't believe what they heard. Someone turned out the kitchen light and they quietly opened the door and found three immies on the floor playing with the toothless burbling baby. A bandana over a dim light shadowed the room in blue. The girls giggled softly, went back into the kitchen to get bottles of milk ready and wipe their faces. Then they joined the baby sitters on the floor, cooing and making googly faces at the chirping child.

Richie got to feed the baby first. Everyone cuddled together as they watched the youngest immortal take on this fatherly duty.

Methos stood by the door, the blue light reflected in his face. Hayden looked up at him questioningly; he just barely shook his head, took in the scene before him and smiled.

pacemCDC
Mar 29 2003

Top



Denise's chocolates!

Connor, walking through the foyer, was halted in his tracks by a voice he'd never heard before. His immortal "radar" hadn't gone off, so he knew it wasn't an immortal he heard ... nonetheless, he was grateful he was armed.

What the hell is THAT? he mentally questioned, cautiously surveying the room without moving his feet. It sounds muffled, but it's not coming from k'lynn's door.

"Denise? Hel-loooo, Denise, we're in here! You know we're in here ... come and get us, girl!"

Connor took two steps back from the spiral staircase to his right and stared at it suspiciously. I think I'm losing my mind. What did Duncan put in that haggis last night?

Just then, Duncan strode into the foyer and stopped dead upon seeing Connor's alert pose. Immortal radar or not, he had the handle of his katana in one hand although he *did* leave it sheathed. "What is it, Connor?"

"I'm ... not sure," slowly admitted the other man, feeling slightly foolish. "I ... uh ... think I'm hearing things."

"What kind of things?"

"Voices."

"You always hear voices. Ramirez never shuts up inside your head, according to you," reminded Duncan.

"No, no, no--this one's coming from---" Connor stopped, unable to finish because it sounded so inane to admit!

"Where?"

"Um-m-m..."

At that moment, the muffled high-pitched voice erupted again. "Yoooo-hoooo, Denise? What's keeping you? You KNOW we're in here and you KNOW you want us!"

Duncan leaped away from the staircase and his rapid movements made Connor draw his sword, as if a foe had suddenly appeared. Both of them stared at the staircase, bristling with steel.

"You heard it?" whispered Connor.

"I did." Duncan looked thoughtful. "Did I put something odd in that haggis last night?"

"How the hell should I know--you're the one who made it!"

"You were there, Connor."

"I was drunk, remember?"

"Well, so was I."

The haggis discussion was interrupted again by the sugary little voice, which whined plaintively, "Where IS she? Did she forget us? She's never THIS late to eat us!"

Duncan laughed in relief. "Oh, I know what that is!"

"What?" demanded Connor.

"It's the chocolates. Denise must have a bag of M&Ms or a candy bar open in her purse." The Scot pointed at the black purse hung over the post at the bottom of the staircase. "Her chocolate always talks to her, sometimes even when she hasn't opened it yet."

Perplexed and somewhat disbelieving, Connor walked to the purse and slowly lifted the flap and peered inside.

"THERE you are!" shouted the mysterious voice, more clearer now that the purse was open--Connor jerked his head back, but then peeked in the dark recesses of the purse again.

The voice grew alarmed. "Hey! You're not Denise! Get the hell out of our purse! HELP! HELP! Chocolate thief! HELP!"

Connor dropped the flap looking a bit guilty. "Stupid chocolate. I thought I had taken one too many quickenings and was going over the edge! Next thing, I'd be seeing pink hippos in tu-tus dancing a chorus line!"

Duncan, behind him, was doubled over his sword laughing and Connor whapped him with the flat of his *own* sword before putting it away and striding off down the hall.

When Duncan finished laughing over Connor's confusion, he strode over to look in Denise's bag himself, and the first thing he said was, "Be quiet or I'll EAT you!"

The contents in the bottom of the bag squeaked and were silent.

"You know," Duncan said conversationally, completely unaware of how he looked leaning against the banister railing talking to a purse! "You really ought to be more circumspect with your shouting to Denise, because if RICHIE comes through here and hears you--there won't be any begging or pleading that will save you from his gullet!"

The purse squeaked again, longer, and then was silent.

"Compendia?" Duncan urged.

"We'll be quiet," whispered a voice.

"I will NOT be quiet!" whined another.

"Oh, yes you will! You Browns always think you're running the show, but us pretty colors have you outnumbered!"

"Yeah! And if you don't BE quiet, us Purples are going to shove you to the bottom and you'll get eaten LAST!"

"Is Richie a rowdy? I mean ... does he like hanky-panky? I wouldn't want to waste all my--"

"Look here, Green, will you give it a rest? Honestly, is that all you think about?"

"Well ... yes."

Duncan dropped the purse flap and rolled his eyes. "M&M's. And here everyone thought every one of them was the same."

MacNairCDC
(This is all Denise's fault!)
April 2, 2003

Top



If Anyone Looked

If any one was looking, they would have seen a good looking man staring, unseeing, out of the back seat window. The medium dark blue car with the sparkles in the paint was his armor.

But it was of little use against the turmoil inside him. Centuries of conflict, distant battlefields filled with the screams of comrades and enemies, the numbing grief of losing friends and lovers over and over, all churned his thoughts and clouded his vision.

If any one was looking, they would have seen it deep in his eyes.

He sat so still while these memories and stories filled in the spaces around him.

"But......." he said out loud in the empty car "........enough!!!"

With a studied discipline honed over the years and Chi Gung cleansing motions, he succeeded in discharging the dark energy of his mood.

And just in time, for there was a commotion growing outside the car and three giggling clan sibs loaded with bags of party supplies tumbled into the car. Merriment soon filled those morose spaces as the girls bubbled with secret plans and mayhem making.

Lahoffy started her new car and set up the stereo to ear-numbing decibels as Lifehouse music went spinning through the car. Hayden sat next to her, gesturing animatedly of some of the shenanigans they were plotting for the evening festivities. Vidalia sat next to Duncan in the back and giggled while she recounted the bottles of Merlot and proudly showed him the Red and Black Cuillin they had found in the small Scottish market in the mall.

Lahoffy looked in the rear view mirror and saw some of the clouds that had filled her friend's eyes and she turned and told him there was something for him in the top of the bag at his feet, but he wasn't to look at anything else. He reached in and found a tin of Garvey's scones and shortbread (the closest he had found in this modern age to his mother's). He also saw a blue feather duster, a bottle of Mr. Bubbles and mangoes, but he didn't say anything. He sat back and munched the sweet buttery cake.

Lahoffy was looking........and she understood; so he leaned forward and tweaked her wild curls and adjusted her halo and smiled conspiratorially while he wiped the crumbs from his chin.

pacemCDC
May 29, 2003

Top



Seasoned Immortals

Lahoffy notes: MacNair frued this picture and it went downhill from there...


Vidalia

Think Connor grabbed that outfit because of the cinnamon oil?

*weg*


pacemCDC

Or the blue feather duster??

>gigggggle<


Vidalia

*rolled her eyes at V and MacNair anointing the elder highlander*

*Catching Pacem's eye she gestured with the blue feather duster*

Duncan had just returned from the kitchen with 2 of MacNair's large wine glasses filled with the now chilled Merlot.


pacemCDC~~OO~~

you mean those really, REALLLY big wine glasses!!????


Vidalia

"That's the ones....they each hold 1/2 a bottle." *grinning* "Doesn't Duncan look nice bringing them to us?"

*wiggles the feather duster temptingly at Pacem*


pacemCDC

Oh dearie! I gotta stick to Diet Pepsi or you will be sweeping me up off the floor tomorrow!

Now the feather duster, I'll try.

Well, just one feather~~~I seem to remember that working for Amanda.

*bg*


Vidalia

*Grabs a diet pepsi and tosses it to Pacem--along with one long very blue, very soft feather from the feather duster.*


pacemCDC

"heh heh heh. Come here, Duncan!" she purred.

*weg*


Vidalia

*Duncan peered uneasily ... at pacem's smiling face and the blue feather dancing from her fingers*

"Pacem, he warned backing up very slowly only to back straight into Vidalia's out stretched arms."


pacemCDC

!!!good catch!!!!

*hands feather to Vidalia*

"You go, girl!"


Vidalia

*Caught Pacem's blue feather and was aiming for the Highlander's arm when he slipped from her grasp ...*


pacemCDC~giggling again~

"Okay----who greased that Scot??? Which way did he go, Vidalia??"


Vidalia

"To the pool,"Vidalia shouted, brandishing the feather duster like a sword. "After him!"


pacemCDC

*grabbing my lion king floatie and jumping in!*

"!!!hey!!! There's no Duncan in here?"

???

"Alright whose turn was it to watch V???


Vidalia

*Grabs her red f150 floaty and joined pacem in the pool*

Duncan peers from behind lahoffy's lounger hoping for an escape.

Vidalia taps Pacem's shoulder, "MacNair has Vidalia. They have been seasoning Connor."


lahoffyCDC

"ummm..Duncan?" lahoffy whispers. "You can't hide behind me forever. That pool looks just way too inviting. Besides...I want to catch some of those M&M's that Connor and Methos are lobbing at sheeza!"


Vidalia

*Vidalia called out for lahoffy to join them in the pool*

Richie was tickling the toes of the two women as he swam along the bottom of the pool sucking up the M&M's that Methos was lobbing at Sheeza.


pacemCDC

[first an aside: what is an fl 50 floatie--just in case I have to identify you to the FBI??]

"Whew`that was good news about V!

Now, then, on with the story..............

Vidalia crooks her finger in Duncan's direction and then gives him the peace sign.

Just then Richie does a cannonball into the pool knocking both girls off their floaties!!!

`splash`


Vidalia

First, a red F150 is the type of truck I drive! *g* and the FBI has tried and failed where I'm concerned.

"Watch out for Richie--he's diving for the green M&M's!" Vidalia warned


pacemCDC

>snicker<

Okay----this is my story: I saw nothin' and I know nothin' and !!!!Richie!!!! is diving for:

"come on up and see me some time" green m&ms?????

Oh no!!!


Vidalia

Vidalia grins at Pacem's distress about Richie and the green M&M's.

"Look at it this way; it won't kill him and it keeps him out of trouble for the moment!"


DeniseCDC from Kansas City

Hi Vidalia!

Par-TAY, Par-TAY!!! Did you unlatch V's door?


"V"

*saunters in with Vidalia's Ray Bans on*

*looking around expectantly*

"Hey Denise! Is he here yet? Is he? Ok, *just* where is he!"


DeniseCDC from Kansas City

Great look V!

Just which are we stalk ... err ... talking about? You know the motto around here, there will never be just one....


"V"

*Slids glasses down her nose*

"Connor of course," she answers with a wikkid laugh, "I have always enjoyed the company of a more *seasoned* man."

*Looking over at Denise* "But I think the others are workable don't you?"


MacNairCDC

Bwahaahaaahaaaaaa!!!!

How FUNNY!

A more seasoned man.

"Hey, who tossed this cinnamon oil on me?"

"Mmmmmm, just ri-i-ight," murmurs a tell-tale voice behind him.


"V"

*crept quietly up behind Connor pursing her lips blew gently on the area of his flesh covered by the cinnamon oil which immediately began to warm against his skin*

"Nice shot, MacNair," V called over Connor's shoulder, almost falling into a fit of the giggles when the elder Highlander's eyes widen at the sensation of the oil s-l-o-w-l-y running down his spine.


MacNair, following where V leads....

"Hmmm, mustn't let that get those new Speedos," whispered another voice. A kiss planted itself ever-so-gently at the base of his spine and stopped the trickle.

"What is this? Immortal torture night?" asked Connor.

"Well SEASONED, is the word you're after--and you're not hot enough yet."


"V"

*watches in wonder as goose bumps run across Connor's heated flesh. Unable to resist she blows gently on the side of his neck*

*peering down at MacNair she gives her a half smile*

"He calls *this* torture," she chuckled, and another drop trailed down his torso.


MacNairCDC

"Oh, my favorite spot," said lahoffy, breezing by on her way to get some soda and snacks.

"Mine too," growled Connor, becoming seriously interested in where that cinnamon oil was going.

"Bingo!" And lahoffy swooped down and slur-r-rped the droplets out of his navel.

Connor was so startled by her quick movement that he flinched, ticklish. "WHA--?" protested Connor.

"Gotcha!" giggled lahoffy.


lynnanncdc

bingo?

I think someone put MacNair back together in the wrong order.


"V"

Connor's skin was beginning to turn such and interesting shade of pink. V glanced over at MacNair, "Pool time?" <


MacNairCDC

"Definately 'Pool Time' V, dear!" smugly said MacNair. "Let's take snacks with us, too!"

"Wait!" protested Connor. "You can't just tantalize me like this and then just ... go away!"

"Oh, yes we can. You need to marinate a bit," chuckled V. She slipped an arm through her fellow conspirator and the two headed towards the snack table.


"V"

As MacNair and V were making their way out of the kitchen to the pool they were almost knocked down by a frantic Duncan racing by them. Looking back, the two saw Vidalia and Pacem close behind him brandishing two blue feather dusters. They were both hot on the heel of the fleeing Highlander!

V turns an eye to MacNair after her good twin blazes by them, "And she's says I'm evil. Think Connor's going to let us get away with the oil thing?" V inquired interestingly of MacNair.


MacNair--laughing!

"Hmmmm...I think we should stand real still and just ... watch," said MacNair sidelong to V. So they did just that, hips perched on the corner of the snack table and chocolate dipped pretzels sticks in one hand.

Duncan circled the Jacuzzi and headed for someone he knew would be a safe haven to hide behind. Heck, if he could just lead pacem and Vidalia to him, they'd get caught in his intense gaze and all of Duncan sweet tormenting worries would be over! He raced straight for Connor MacLeod---

---and forgot he was greased!

He grabbed his kinsman by one arm and Connor grabbed back--they both slid right through the grip and ended up a tangle of Highlanders beside the pool!

"Pretzels," said V.

"Needs chocolate," added MacNair.

"We can add chocolate to the seasonings."

"And now we have help." pacem and Vidalia were circling the duo on the ground with their feathers.


"V"

*Reaching back behind the huge bowl filled with potato chips V grabbed the two squeeze bottles filled with chocolate sauce, and just for grins and giggles she also swiped the can of whip cream.

Turning she tossed one of the chocolate bottles to MacNair who deftly caught it. Together the women approached the tangled mass of greased limbs from the north as Vidalia and Pacem converged on them from the south with their feather dusters quivering!


MacNairCDC

"Well now, *this* should be worth watching," announced Methos to no one in particular. I'm glad I brought out this camcorder tonight he thought as he snapped open the shutter and hit the Record button.


What The Camcorder Heard

"Why do you smell like cinnamon buns?"

"They didn't get it on my buns, you moron! You smell like butter flavored Crisco!"

"You can't smell crisco!"

"You're yellow in spots!"

"Yeah, well ... you're about to be BROWN in spots."

"Brown?"

Gl-iiiii-p-ooooph!

"Ahh! Chocolate sauce? My hair! It won't be HAPPY pphfft, anymore!"

"Now, you're a true brown-noser!"

Gl-uuuuur-rph!

"Ha! Same to you, kinsman!"

"No! No, not the FEATHERS too! We'll be--wait---!"

Methos just left the tape running, even though he couldn't see much through the melee of laughing CDC girls around the two Scots. Richie, wisely, just kept to the pool and out of target range. When the throng finally quit moving, their handiwork was revealed:

Two Scots covered in chocolate with several purple feathers attached to them.

"There. They look pretty seasoned," said V. She looked sidelong at her conspirators. "I think they're ready for the dungeon!"


"V"

*studied the Highlanders thoughtfully*

"Wait they're not quite done." Removing the can of whip cream from her pocket, she shook the can while walking over to the tangled gooey mess of the Highlanders.

Pbbbbttt....went the can of whipped cream and a half dozen star shapes appeared on the top of Duncan's head. Turning to Connor, V, carefully aimed the can but was caught off guard by a particularly intense look from his eyes.

Pbbbbtttt...went the whip cream--landing in a golf ball size mound just on the end of Connor's nose.

Standing V viewed her handy work and chimed, "Now they're ready for the dungeon!" she announced.


MacNairCDC

"And what torture should we inflict on them this time, V-Dahling?" enthusiastically asked MacNair. She linked arms with both Vidalia and pacem on their way toward the dungeon.

"They look deLECTible, don't they?" suggested Vidalia.

"They DO look delicktable."

"Yeah. That."

Duncan, dripping whipped cream and chocolate beside Connor, whispered sidelong: "This gives a new twist on tongue torture, doesn't it?"


"V"

*led the way down the steps to the dungeon*

*Opening the heavy door she stepped into the dungeon flipping light switches. With a flick of another switch a Jacuzzi started in the corner of the dungeon.

The trio of ladies herding the Highlanders in stopped in amazement as their eyes fell on the Jacuzzi tucked into the corner happily bubbling away.

Macnair's eyebrows scampered their way to the middle of her forehead, "How did that get here?"

"Methos' credit card," V replied just as calmly.

The two Highlanders burst into howls of laughter as a strangled cry from the top of the steps sounded.

~finis~
May 31 2003

Top



The Dog Days of Summer

He strolled nonchalantly through the compound, pushing his hands deep in his pockets while his eyes seared even deeper in thought.

The gangly retriever-mutt loped along attentively, tongue hanging out in that I am so happy to be alive~~and with you look of adoration that Connor had to chuckle quietly to himself.

But ... he had other plans on his mind and he was determined to see them through.

Sharz and lynnann sipped Mango slushies by the pool as the heat index rose. "Hmmmm... what IS Connor up to?" Sharz wondered out loud.

Without even looking, lynnann pointed the garden hose toward the dragon in the moat to shower the cool water in her direction. The rainbows she created with the morning sun made k'lynn twinkle excitedly in the tree overhead.

The other clansibs were around trying to stay cool.

MacNair and lahoffy drifted around on their floaties hoping to benefit from the sporadic showers offered by lynnann.

Denise was trying out the new gutters with Richie. The cup holders worked great, but it was just too hot to talk about lists, or music, or numbers.

Janne and Vidalia sat with Methos and dangled their feet in the water. Methos grinned every time he was able to flick sprinkles of water up at the girls with his toes.

It was even too hot for hayden's mayhem so she rested in the shade with Sheeza while Duncan squirted them with the infamous Super Soaker.

The lazy quiet was only occasionally interrupted by the buzzing of cicadas rising with the shimmering fever of the day.

No one heard the muttered Gaelic oaths as Connor struggled with the awkward box behind the garage. The dog sat at attention watching the proceedings and wagged his tail encouragingly. It only took four trips to the tool shed, one air-compressor hooked up to the T-bird and two patches from the "enclosed kit" before the former blacksmith had assembled and constructed this latest surprise for the girls of the compound.

When everything was ready to go, Connor smiled and nodded to the dog which trotted off to the pool where he found the garden hose laying unattended next to lynnann. He picked it up gently in his mouth and headed back.

I don't know whom, but somebody noticed the green hose snaking its way around behind the garage and the curious clansibs rose as one and followed its trail.

There, behind the garage was one triumphant Scot, a happy tail-thumping hound, and a

Wham-O Super Geyser Slip 'n Slide!

The fun and cooling off began in earnest then! Clansibs and immies grabbed hands and feet and toes and ran shrieking down the tunnel of cooling waters. Their delight and merriment echoed off the sides of the mountain for hours that day.

Conner watched and listened and chuckled once again and then he bent down and whispered in his co-conspirator's ear, "I sure like that wet t-shirt look, don't you, boy?'

pacemCDC
July 6, 2003

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