Playroom Compilation 9

 

 

Disclaimer:  The characters of Methos, Richie Ryan, Connor MacLeod, and Duncan MacLeod belong to DPP.

Anchor links to individual stories:


k'lynn and the Cow

CDC Holiday Filks

JanneCDC - because I have a one track mind and that mind is a very odd place,
I present to you: (all together now!) The Twelve CDC Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
A five thousand year old man.

On the second day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Two Highland warriors,
And a five thousand year old man!

On the third day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Three Fellowshippers,
Two Highland warriors,
And a five thousand year old man!

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Four cute wee hobbits,
Three Fellowshippers,
Two Highland warriors,
And a five thousand year old man!

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Rich on a motorbike!
Four cute wee hobbits,
Three Fellowshippers,
Two Highland warriors,
And a five thousand year old man!

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Six claws a slashing,
Rich on a motorbike!
Four cute wee hobbits,
Three Fellowshippers,
Two Highland warriors,
And a five thousand year old man!

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Seven bottles of merlot,
Six claws a slashing,
Rich on a motorbike!
Four cute wee hobbits,
Three Fellowshippers,
Two Highland warriors,
And a five thousand year old man!

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Eight pairs of leather pants,
Seven bottles of merlot,
Six claws a slashing,
Rich on a motorbike!
Four cute wee hobbits,
Three Fellowshippers,
Two Highland warriors,
And a five thousand year old man!

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Nine tubs of mangoes,
Eight pairs of leather pants,
Seven bottles of merlot,
Six claws a slashing,
Rich on a motorbike!
Four cute wee hobbits,
Three Fellowshippers,
Two Highland warriors,
And a five thousand year old man!

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Ten orcs cavorting,
Nine tubs of mangoes,
Eight pairs of leather pants,
Seven bottles of merlot,
Six claws a slashing,
Rich on a motorbike!
Four cute wee hobbits,
Three Fellowshippers,
Two Highland warriors,
And a five thousand year old man!

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Eleven cuddly sheep,
Ten orcs cavorting,
Nine tubs of mangoes,
Eight pairs of leather pants,
Seven bottles of merlot,
Six claws a slashing,
Rich on a motorbike!
Four cute wee hobbits,
Three Fellowshippers,
Two Highland warriors,
And a five thousand year old man!

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Twelve clansibs chortling,
Eleven cuddly sheep,
Ten orcs cavorting,
Nine tubs of mangoes,
Eight pairs of leather pants,
Seven bottles of merlot,
Six claws a slashing,
Rich on a motorbike!
Four cute wee hobbits,
Three Fellowshippers,
Two Highland warriors,
And a five thousand year old man!

Athankya, thankya verra mucha!
~JanneCDC~



(Next day) JanneCDC - Eeeevil Denise! This is all your fault.

Good Highlanders beware,
You shouldn't go in there,
klynn has got the mistletoe
She's tying it everywhere with bows,
The girls have got the trip ropes out
There's traps and danger all about,
They'll pounce when you appear,
They'll pounce when you appear.

(Now Methos he well knows,
With peril, Christmas goes,
The girls want presents, big and small,
It's hell just trying to wrap them all,
You get it wrong, they'll look upset
But that is not the worst of it
Cos they'll hide all the beer,
They'll hide all the beer!

(This one is a bit ruder...)

Dancing Immortals are here
They're frolicking in the lobby!
The watching Clan give a big cheer,
This is our favourite hobby!

Glo oh o o o o, oh o o o o o, oh o o o o o, oh o o o o o, oh o o o o o-oria!
We've had a lot of whisky!

First we come to our grave King,
He truly is a prize!
Since he won't dance we'll hear him sing,
And get lost in his eyes!

Glo oh o o o o, oh o o o o o, oh o o o o o, oh o o o o o, oh o o o o o-oria!
We've had a lot of whisky!

And Wolverine just won't play ball,
He simply stands and glowers!
It makes no difference at all,
We'll all still need cold showers!

Glo oh o o o o, oh o o o o o, oh o o o o o, oh o o o o o, oh o o o o o-oria!
We've had a lot of whisky!

The Elf is dancing with his swords,
Just watching has us sighing!
His talent leave us lost for words,
Or is that cos his shirt's gone flying?

Glo oh o o o o, oh o o o o o, oh o o o o o, oh o o o o o, oh o o o o o-oria!
He's had a lot of whisky!

Rich is turning rather red,
He's embarrassed at how he's acting,
"I don't mind stripping off" he said,
"But the groping is distracting!"

Glo oh o o o o, oh o o o o o, oh o o o o o, oh o o o o o, oh o o o o o-oria!
We've had a lot of whisky!

The Highlanders are just in kilts,
They're wearing their clan tartan.
They're flashing us with every tilt,
As the covering's rather spartan!

Glo oh o o o o, oh o o o o o, oh o o o o o, oh o o o o o, oh o o o o o-oria!
They've had a lot of whisky!

Methos is in a Santa's hat,
Without it he'd be nude!
His head is not where it is at,
It's somewhere much more rude!

Glo oh o o o o, oh o o o o o, oh o o o o o, oh o o o o o, oh o o o o o-oria!
He's had far too much whisky!

Glo oh o o o o, oh o o o o o, oh o o o o o, oh o o o o o, oh o o o o o oria!
Thank goodness for the whisky!

~JanneCDC~


And then enters: lynnannCDC

God rest ye, merry Highlanders
let no one you behead.
Just have some haggis and some ale,
and take that wench to bed.

You'll know if foe is very near
that buzzing in your head.

With katana in hand you will survive
still be alive,
with katana in hand you are alive.

And more:

Deck the pool with crossed katanas
C D C C D C C D C

Snatch the kilts and red bandanas
C D C C D C C D C

Richie's drunk and kinda mushy
C D C C D C C D C

Let's all have a mango slushie
C D C D C Clan C D C

~(second verse - you really didn't think I'd stop at just one did you????)~

It's time to Par-tay, lads and lasses
C D C C D C C D C

Connor's making multiple passes
at each one of the Clan CDC

Duncan's hair is long and flowing
C D C C D C C D C

Methos' nose is really glowing
C D C D C Clan C D C

~Finis~
December 2004

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k'lynn and the Cow

The nights were getting chilly at the CDC compound. Connor knew it by the steam rising from his coffee cup and the fact that he was beating the sun up at 6 am now. It was nearly time to start laying in firewood for the stove in the barn and hauling wood pellets for the stove in the big house.

Methos would be complaining about his old bones and Duncan would laugh and threatened to buy more sweaters. The horse blankets needed repairing and all the fragile plants tucked into the green shed. All the hoses emptied and rolled up. The lawn system drained.

But right now, with only coffee steam and a rising sun, none of that really mattered. He looked out over open fields and the mountains in the far distance ... and then spotted something unusual in the pasture. He blinked twice, thinking his vision was awry ... then stared suspiciously in his coffee cup.

The door thumped behind him; Duncan sauntering out with his own coffee mug.

"I see you spotted our new addition."


SharzCDC:

Connor tilted his head and cocked an eyebrow at Duncan. "Whose idea was this ... and why was I not consulted?"

Duncan lowered himself carefully into a chair, stretched out his long legs, propped one bare foot on top of the other, and took a long sip of his coffee.

Connor waited. Patiently.

"Well ... I don't know the whole story. "

Connor cast him a skeptical look, while Duncan took another sip. "Good coffee, this morning," he commented, grinning to see a flash of impatience cross Connor's features before becoming more studied.

After another sip, he continued.

"k'lynn's involved, and I think it has something to do with dust buffalos."

Another sip ... "and it was somehow part of a surprise for you, but I couldn't quite get straight 'what' or 'how.'

Another sip, and Connor's expression changed not one flicker this time. His voice trailed off, but Connor's expression didn't let him off the hook.

"k'lynn was in cahoots with Methos most of last evening, so maybe he knows more."

Connor hrumphed. Methos wouldn't be up any time soon, and Duncan was aware of it, by the glint in his eye.

The door squeaked and Connor turned his attention from Duncan, hoping for another, better source of information ...


VidaliaCDC:

Surprisingly, Methos stepped through the door way and onto the porch. Dark shadows marred his soulful eyes. He was still dressed in the clothes he had worn the day before. A mug of coffee curled steam under his prominent nose and he inhaled deeply as if finding strength in its hearty aroma.

Duncan glanced at the ancient one noting his haggard condition. The sweet sprite, k'lynn often had that affect on a body. None of them could say 'no' to k'lynn. Duncan smiled inwardly making a mental note to tease the ancient one without mercy after they had finished with Connor.

Connor pinned Methos with a stare.

"You know something about that?" he asked, pointing at the shaggy beast regarding them lazily.

Methos blinked and brought the coffee mug to his lips.

Duncan smiled, looking down over his cup and his bare toes.

Methos grunted, fixing the elder highlander with a droll stare, "Possibly."

"Care to enlighten me?" Connor's voice was carefully void of the irritation that was rapidly building.

"Well, it all started when hayden and I allowed k'lynn to watch Star Trek," Methos answered.

An indiscernible sound erupted from Duncan, who quickly replaced the look of mirth with an innocent expression.


DeniseCDC:

"Star Trek," Connor mouthed, his face neutral but attempting to piece together the puzzle. "How does Star Trek, Mayhem, k'lynn and Fossil Man get dust buffalos the size of yak in the compound?

Duncan snorted in his coffee and Connor froze him with a glare. Where there was one dust buffalo there had to be more.. He had visions of picnicking with the Clan today, and enjoying the great outdoors...

not moving furniture and vacuuming. Visions of snuggling with the ladies and being hand fed grapes were being replaced with washing baseboards.

"We," he looked at Duncan and in a tone of voice he used to train him centuries ago, stated firmly, "have to get them out of here before the girls wake up."


haydenCDC

Hayden walked in carrying her glass of sweet tea only to be stopped short by the immortal gazes; one cold stare of steel and two of mirth. She knew in an instant that she had to think fast or, better yet, run fast. Turning on the heel of her foot, she spun around only to be caught short by the younger highlander.

"You made your bed lass now you have to lie in it."

"Ok, let's go ... but bring the strawberries," she crooned.

Duncan's eyes crinkled in delight.

"Later, lass, first you have to explain yourself to the clan chieftain or he'll take it out on me the next time we spar."

"Well... Methos wanted me to make him a margarita cake, but he insisted on controlling the volume of alcohol in the cake. He was supposed to be playing with k'lynn so he turned on the TV for just a minute to distract her while he poured: one for the cake and then one for himself.

"It was just a minute. I swear just a minute, but she saw the Horta and wanted to ride it." (hayden started speaking more swiftly as Connor's gaze met hers in hopes that she could escape the predicament she found herself in.) "Well you know you can't just buy a Horta so I promised her she could get any pet she wanted and she wanted the cow!"


lynnannCDC

Hayden's hasty explanation did not soften the Highlander's glare, but at least he directed it back to Methos, with an occasional shot towards Duncan who was trying his damnedest not to laugh. Hayden took the opportunity to grab a bowl, cereal, spoon and milk, and head towards the sunroom for her breakfast.

"With the size of the menagerie we already have here you promised her another pet? Dogs, horses, sheep, cats, birds, dragons and Orcs and you promised her another pet?"

"And the goldfish, don't forget the goldfish." Duncan couldn't resist snickering.

"What the hell were you thinking, you blithering idiot? I swear I'll be cutting off your liquor supply if you're not going to think straight when it comes to our spectre."

"Hayden made the promise." Methos' eyes began to glaze over, wondering if he was considering beer to be booze.

"You turned on the TV, you're the one with all the hidden agenda, you couldn't distract k'lynn with a cookie or stuff one in Hayden's mouth before she could say a word."

"kooky?" a voice spoke from a low cupboard next to the refrigerator.


MacNairCDC:

"Uh, no cookies yet, darling," said Connor smoothly. His voice carried easily through the front door to the kitchen. "Duncan hasn't made them, but he's planning to right away."

"Hey?" protested Duncan. "I didn't have anything to do with this fuzzy cow incident--why am I the one making cookies?"

"Because if Methos makes them, we'll throw out every other pan for being burnt and it'll stink up our kitchen for a day."

"Oh. That. Well, then ... I'm making cookies."

Connor sat down on the front porch and put his coffee aside. "Come out here, my little glitterbug."

There was a dazzle, a trail of shimmer, the scent of something somewhat vanilla and lavender combined, and then k'lynn was draped over Connor's knee and halfway around his neck. No one had ever quite figured out how she did such amazing feats of flexibility, but no one ever complained about them either. Sometimes the men just had to close their eyes and concentrate on what they felt in order to keep their sanity, but in dealing with the CDC Spook, that was just par for the course. A blindfold also came in handy and k'lynn was handy with them!

"So you wanted a Horta, did you?" kindly asked the elder Scot. He pried her grip from around his neck before she throttled off all of his air in enthusiasm. "Why did you want such a thing?"

"prity eggs. eat rocks. mak tunnels!"

"Tunnels?" Methos looked alarmed. "She wanted tunnels? Why would she want a tunnel when she's got a nice cubby hole to live in?"

"tunnels! play seeki-hide! we hav whol hill 4 tunnels! digdigdigdigdig!"

"Just. Don't. Talk," warned Duncan. "You'll be drilling tunnels through the hills just for her to play in!"

"The Dwarf can do it," answered Methos.

"Shut up!" warned Connor. "We just got rid of Lord of the Ring men around here. Did you want them all back?"

"Gimli makes Dwarf rum--the fiercest thing in Middle Earth or any other Earth around," sulkily said Methos.

"No Horta, but you've got a fuzzy cow," smoothly distracted Connor. k'lynn was curled half around his waist and one finger was searching for his naval as if to confirm it hadn't gotten lost. "What are you going to do with the fuzzy cow? She might get sad for her cold Scotland weather with that heavy fur coat she's got on."

"give haircut," said k'lynn with perfect seriousness.

All three immortals blinked nearly in unison and struggled to keep their faces straight. Shearing a Highland cow sounded more like a bona fide rodeo than anything else.

"But, we have cows, sweet pea," kindly reminded Connor.

"haf babee. babee-babee-babeeeee!"

"She wants a baby Highlander cow," cheerfully said Methos. "I bet they are fuzzier than Duncan's behind!"

"Leave my behind out of it," said Duncan.

The ensuing friendly argument was swiftly curtailed by k'lynn's next words.

"no cow. haf baby tribbl! Tribbl-tribbl-tribbl-tribbl!"

~Finis~

Round Robin started September 8, 2007

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